Carbon dioxide

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arunansu
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Thu Jun 19, 2008 2:51 pm

As I breathe my poems,
flowers take the place of bullets.
An ancient rain
flirts with their perfume.

I exhale
third season of a year, adding
some amount of carbon dioxide
in the background.
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barrie
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Fri Jun 20, 2008 10:42 am

I'm not too sure what you're trying to say here - Poetry takes your mind away from conflict into a more peaceful realm.

An ancient rain
flirts with their perfume.
I like this.

Verse two is unclear - Do you mean that whatever you do, you add to the seemingly growing problem of carbon levels? I take it that you say this tongue in cheek - if you weren't 'adding
some amount of carbon dioxide
' then you'd be dead.

I exhale
third season of a year
- I find this obscure. The only way I can make anything out of this verse is by taking the N to be the Earth. The exhalation being Autumn when the leaves fall and vegetation begins to die - but I can't link it to a CO2 increase. Leaves give off CO2 in daylight and O2 in darkness, so there's always a balance. Am I being thick here?

Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
arunansu
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Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:56 pm

Thanks for your reply Barrie.

I'll try to explain my feelings here. We live by respiration. We breathe poems. We take in fresh ideas. The world seems a better place to live in, etc. These I have tried to cover in S1. In S2, I find we are using up the fresh ideas, fresh thoughts. I imagined this that novel ideas are getting used up, whatever the other people is getting is not pure "oxygen", but all "used up" things. Almost all. Carbon dioxide symbolises the themes which are used up. I may be not clear to you, I may have been or maybe I am still being cryptic.

Thanks again for the reply.
Cheers.
dl04
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Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:02 pm

You have definitely made it more clarified Aru with your explanation, but i still feel the piece is a little obscure in places as Barrie has said. For me personally, the two stanzas are great but they feel a bit disconnected and i cant put my finger on why. It may be the more elaborate language in S1 and the more base language in S2. Maybe it's just a personal question mark of mine.

I still love your work though Aru, always has a great warmth and dreaminess about it.
' Everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go, well i dont think so but i'm gonna take a look around'

-Joni Mitchell
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