Euphoria

[Sulpicia]

I’m flying high in fantasy America,
inside the movie, going back in time,
or out of this time, into a parallel dimension,
above the haze and bathed in glowing gold;
the texture of the leather seat is ultra-real
yet somehow always out of reach,
and Venus is doing that gold dust thing again;
I'm drifting into telling you.
This is what I need to do,
one thing before I die,
to finally come out with it,
Hugh-Grant-tongue-tied with romance and sincerity;
we're having that deep and never possible conversation.
You're looking at the ground,
blushing, reaching out---
down to earth with a bump.
We land, unscathed; I'm shaken out.
Pithy asides at the turn of the queue:
you are my ever elusive Doctor Who.
We are twin halves of one non-event,
A consummate disaster never meant.

[barrie]

The assonance is very effective here, quite subtle - I had to go back and find what had caught my ear without it noticing.

going back in time,
or out of this time, into a parallel dimension, - Do you need out of this time?

going back in time,
or into a parallel dimension,

A couple of images that struck a blind spot - Venus and the gold dust - What's that? And the Hugh Grant thing.

I don't think it's as good as your other poems - no doubt other's will disagree with me, but it's all a matter of taste.

Barrie

[jms]

This is very good. I was also confused by the Venus image, and wondered if the penultimate line was a bit of a mouthful. But lots of nice imagery here, while at the same time managing to be down to earth. Enjoyed this thoroughly.

Cheers,

Jon

[R. Broath]

Some great word choices, Helen, 'drifting into telling you' and 'consummate disaster never meant' especially.
I didn't get the Venus thing either; maybe something to do with clouds?
I think the hyphenation in this 'Hugh-Grant-tongue-tied' is meant to compare the narrator with Mr Grant's market-cornering gawky, hesitant delivery, but think it might be more subtly delivered.

You're looking at the ground,
blushing, reaching out---
down to earth with a bump.

This is really very good.

Much to admire in this.

Jimmy

[Sulpicia]

Barrie, Jon, Jimmy - thanks for the comments.

The Venus reference is a self-allusion (nasty habit): see
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=7755

I did conceive of these poems as a 'book' of elegies, and was imagining that any reader might read them at a rate rather faster than the one a week I am roughly managing to post them at.

cheers
Helen