The Garden

[bobvincent]

THE GARDEN

Awake to see that our garden has changed-
old hoes, rakes and spades lie upon the grass;
the rose, once eminent, has shed her thorns
and blushes crimson at her own beauty,
while insistent weeds swarm around her stem.
Her burgeoning blooms are strangely stippled
sepia, ebony and turmeric,
fragrance ginger-warm, sweet cinnamon-spiced.

In the colder north-facing rockery
stunted purple heathers strive to prosper
as strident thistles choke stone-studded slopes;
while in the verdant wetter pond-side plot
rain leaks slate-grey hues from coal-black soil
where canary-yellow jonquils nod, unsure.

Over the water, where it is greenest,
two scratch-faced tomcats, old foes, who spat but
escaped the stone-weighted sack, loll amid
emerald clover, eyes smiling on their turf.

Mild misrule is our garden’s new design;
all roots may grow in its liberal earth.
Dry fruit of war-borne seeds, my shoots entwine
and tangle in the clay that gave us birth.

[David]

Phew, Bob. You're posting your stuff at a fair old rate of knots. There was another new one I was going to comment on, and now this one has popped up before I could get to it. Slow down, we can't keep up!

Anyway, it's good. I like it. Had to google jonquils, and I'm still confused - are they essentially daffodils? I'd ask my wife - she's the gardener (I'm a garden labourer) - but she's out.

The image of the rose who blushes crimson at her own beauty is possibly a bit High Romantic, but it's a pleasing image.

I wonder whether you've overdone the alliteration a little? In S1 alone we have burgeoning blooms, strangely stippled and sweet cinnamon-spiced (a triple worder!) - again, I suppose it's a matter of personal taste.

Other than that, some very good descriptive passages, and I think your final stanza is excellent.

A nice piece of work. What do you think of Andrew Marvell's garden poems?

Cheers

David

[bobvincent]

I like "To his coy Mistress", but found the garden/ mower/pastoral stuff boring. I I prefer Donne of the poets loosely regarded as "Metaphysicals".
Go ahead and comment on the other new one as well, please.

[Ros]

I enjoyed this, Bob. Some great descriptive parts, and I like the way you move round the garden. A few things struck me:
sepia, ebony and turmeric

lovely words, but used all together like this stood out a bit as a rather deliberate attempt to avoid saying 'brown, black and yellow'. A bit obviously poetic.

Similarly

rain leaks slate-grey hues from coal-black soil
where canary-yellow jonquils nod, unsure.

two hyphenated adjectives seems find, three seems a bit over the top. Excuse me if I'm completely missing the point here, it's quite possible...

and can cats smile with their eyes? Not sure I've ever seen it, but I'm not really a cat person.

Those bits only stood out because I enjoyed the rest so much.

[bobvincent]

No has sussed the symbolism of the poem yet. A virtual night out with me on a dark night in Bradford for whoever cracks the meaning.

[bobvincent]

Sorry for the typo- NO should of course be NO-ONE.

[Elphin]

Remember Bob, if no one susses it then just sometimes it is a failing of the reader but most often the failings are with the writer.

Dont you agree?

elph

[ray miller]

I've got it, the "old ho'" is obviously Margaret Thatcher, the rake is Bill Clinton and the spade is Barack Obama and so it must be about disadvantaged minorities. Or maybe it's about Britain, the pink empire and all these black, white and yellows in these parts. Not sure about the prize. Send me a photograph first.

[bobvincent]

ray Miller is on the right track.

[Ros]

Oh, I see! Well, that is clever. I see who the cats are now. I wouldn't have got it if Ray hadn't spelt it out, though.

<Well, if we're going to have poems with *symbolism* in, mutter...mutter>

Love the bit about the cold area and the wet area, then.

Hmm. Not sure I'd describe our current condition as 'mild misrule', though. Something stronger needed, I feel.

[bobvincent]

What's wrong with symbolism? We aren't all inspired to think alike.
The night out is still on offer, though.

[barrie]

Over the water, where it is greenest,

- 'Where it is greenest' - I take it that's (N)Ireland - So the two cats are Martin McGuinness and Ian Paisley?

A virtual night out with me on a dark night in Bradford for whoever cracks the meaning.

- Is that a virtual curry in the 'Kash', or a virtual pint in the Barracks Tavern in a virtual Lumb Lane?

[Callum C]

The significance seems a bit cryptic to me, but I like the poem regardless. Particularly the third and fourth stanzas, particularly the third. Amazing;

"old foes, who spat but
escaped the stone-weighted sack"

Great stuff, really colourful and accessible.

L11 (second stanza) contains just a few too many 's' sounds for my liking, though. Bit of a tongue twister. I also think that becasue there are so many single syllable words in this strophe it reads a little bit stunted but it wouldn't take much to change that. Liking this, Bob. Liking this a lot.

[R. Broath]

The rose (England)' shedding her thorns' (not now such a big shot) 'insistent weeds' ( her toadying to all America's wars) and meanwhile 'two scatch-faced tomcats' ( France ? and Germany?) whom she saw off in days of yore 'are smiling on their turf'. And the old rose, its old warriors wondering what the winning meant, must watch as the new, vigorous growth of - multi-culturalism? - immigration? - economic defeat? - too many chip shops? - overwhelms.

Whatever it is it has got the whole lot of us thinking ( a good thing ) and its a well constructed piece. A little verbose at times but then who am I to nit about that?

Good stuff, Bob.

Jimmy