I am a napkin,
Sitting in cafes
----Absorbing.
Like the stubborn stain
Of ketchup
That lurks under
The sugar bowl,
----Quietly
defiant.
Only when chipped
Does one of the many
Identical cups
----Stand out.
Raindrops race each other
In intermittent spurts
Down the window, like
----uncertain
ferrets.
On the bill the waitress has written
"Please come again, thankyou!!" -
Dotting her i's and crossing her t's,
She has left a tiny smiling face
----Floating
over her message.
Crossing with another tea,
She moves to take the napkin,
But I fold it
----Away
And order another cup
----To pass the time.
Manifesto
- dillingworth
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Last edited by dillingworth on Mon Aug 22, 2005 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- dillingworth
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sorry about the white dashes, i couldn't find another way to indent those lines.
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I really enjoyed this poem! I love those pieces of life taken to the next level. I will be back, I want to say more, but I cannot shake my sleepyness right now.
thanks for this-
Jennifer
ps no need to apologize, the white dashes are often necessary. I am not sure how to do spaces either, and did not notice the dashes until I read your post!
thanks for this-
Jennifer
ps no need to apologize, the white dashes are often necessary. I am not sure how to do spaces either, and did not notice the dashes until I read your post!
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Nice one dw.
This has a detached, zen-like quality. Like the napkin image. I actually started counting syllables in this one and was surprised to find that there wasn't a scheme (not that that's a problem). My only real niggle is that the ending is anti-climactic.
Cheers
Cam
This has a detached, zen-like quality. Like the napkin image. I actually started counting syllables in this one and was surprised to find that there wasn't a scheme (not that that's a problem). My only real niggle is that the ending is anti-climactic.
Cheers
Cam
- dillingworth
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part of the reason i went for the anticlimax is that i wanted to force the everyday into conflict with the poetic, and for the everyday to win. i see what you mean, though.
another reason for the ending is that the indented lines themselves are supposed to make up a "manifesto":
"absorbing quietly, stand out; uncertain, floating away to pass the time".
perhaps this effect would be retained if i deleted the last two lines?
another reason for the ending is that the indented lines themselves are supposed to make up a "manifesto":
"absorbing quietly, stand out; uncertain, floating away to pass the time".
perhaps this effect would be retained if i deleted the last two lines?
- dillingworth
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i changed it to "spurts": more race like and watery at the same time...
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Yep. Phil JAckson will be passing this out to Kobe and the rest of the Lakers this year in training camp, and although it's good, it won't be good enough. Phoenix will still win the Pacific.cameron wrote:Nice one dw.
This has a detached, zen-like quality.
I disagree, and not just because of the use of "niggle." I think it's perfect for the charateer to stay for more poetry in life, and for more of the post modern themes she's been embracing.cameron wrote: My only real niggle is that the ending is anti-climactic.