Post-it Poetry

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
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seeksthebalance
Posts: 42
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 3:38 pm
Location: Leicester

Mon Aug 22, 2005 1:43 pm

Wrote this one at work this afternoon, I hope you like it. Seeks.

I am a humble post it note,
On which a humble poet wrote
Whilst lounging in his office chair
And playing idly with his hair.

A systems failure gave him leave
To craft these words and deftly weave
A pattern from chaotic thoughts
Which otherwise would come to naught.

I am glad you have the time to spare
Whilst sitting idly playing with your hair.
Now pull your finger out and do some work,
Or you'll be in trouble you silly jerk!


My boss read the post it note upon which these lines were written (it was stuck to my monitor) and insisted upon adding her own verse presented here in red.
Last edited by seeksthebalance on Tue Aug 23, 2005 1:18 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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william
Posts: 47
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2005 4:20 am
Location: Bar Harbor, Maine
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Mon Aug 22, 2005 4:58 pm

short. Sweet. Goes nowhere. My kinda poem.

- will
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Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 276
Joined: Sat Oct 23, 2004 6:46 am

Tue Aug 23, 2005 9:27 am

like it!
especaily the last bit - about weaving - ive always thought of writing that way :D

Yesterday
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seeksthebalance
Posts: 42
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 3:38 pm
Location: Leicester

Tue Aug 23, 2005 12:31 pm

Thanks for the comments guys. I think this one needs to be the beginning of something more... it does rather lack in the area of content.

Just a trifle but perhaps it will develop into something greater.

Seeks.
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pb
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Posts: 186
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 6:19 pm
Location: uk

Tue Aug 23, 2005 8:32 pm

Ha ha, good thing your boss has a sense of humour!
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