With apologies to Laurence Heaney

[dillingworth]

[The title is in reference to the fact that the refrain is shamelessly stolen from a poem by that individual, no relation to Seamus!]

Everything for fire yearns
and shrivels under reason's heat,
even the wilting syllable.

Flaming, the abysmal angel
who, in longing for the light, relinquished
everything for fire, yearns

for a language of lucidity
where sounds are more substantial,
even the wilting syllable.

His phosphorous phrases burned
like coals upon the prophet's tongue:
everything for fire yearns

and spurns the holy, molten mind
that refines rough riddles, leaves them
even. The wilting syllable

is rotten at the root
and devils speak in smoky amphibologies:
everything for fire yearns,
even the wilting syllable.

[barrie]

That's what I call cutting Paradise Lost down to size.

Well written as usual, particularly liked the clever line breaks and the use of punctuation to give new meaning to the repeated lines. I've only one small gripe really - amphibologies. I had to look the bugger up. Couldn't you use smoky ambiguities instead - save people like me from getting their dictionaries out. A good poem though.

Barrie

[Jack Cloverfield]

Nice! Well constructed and fluid read.
Nothing to add here for now. Just good!

Thanks for sharing
Jack

[dillingworth]

thanks barry. you're right that "ambiguities" would be easier, but i believe "amphibology" has a more specific meaning, i.e. a grammatically ambiguous sentence structure, rather than simply a piece of language with two or more meanings. this being the key element of ambiguities in Paradise Lost. perhaps that's too obscure!

[lars3939]

im famous! you thief! Friend told me Im famous!
How you doing? PM me!

Its odd seeing a poem like this...

[David]

This was a bit high-flown and abstract for me, dill. I've been struck, since you returned to the site (and it's good to see you back), by the lightness and humour that have accompanied your usual erudition in the poems you've been posting. In this one, though, I got a lot of erudition and not a whole lot more.

Mind you, as I seem to have completely missed a Paradise Lost angle here, maybe you should just ignore my opinion on this one.

Cheers

David

[Travis]

I agree with David. You're obviously a very learned and competent writer, and I've been enjoying your work, but this one strove for a place (a little too high perhaps) that it never quite got to.

Critique? I dunno. The title, while cute, well, maybe you should consider changing it to something more real. Unless of course this poem was more fun on your part than anything else.

[oranggunung]

dil

Just like to add some praise for the use and re-use of the couplet, presumably borrowed from the aforementioned author. I couldn’t find a copy of the original online, so don’t know how you’ve adapted the structure or context.

Being a fan of alliteration, I enjoyed that aspect of the leading lines. Sadly, although owning a copy, I couldn’t claim to be knowledgeable about Paradise Lost, so missed that aspect.

As others, I’m not really sold on the title. Was the original called “everything for fire yearns”? That sounds like a catchy title. It’s also a cunning way of including inversion without attracting criticism.

Amphibologies – a fine, Chaucerian term. I didn’t mind having to check the definition (an online dictionary is a friend indeed!). Isn't literature a constant learning process?

David mentioned a lack of lightness and humour, but I think the construction of this piece alone shows playfulness. I loved the linguistic liveliness of it.


og

[lars3939]

The title was "the mushroom shaped skull". I have lost my copy and would appreciate if Dillingworth could mail it over to me if he still has it.

[Jasper]

What form is this: it seems to me a cross between a triolet and and dunno *scratches head*
I don't whom this Laurence Heaney is, and don't care to either as this is very good!

A nit though:amphibologies (not easily accessible as the rest)... would smoky retreats/repeats work... italicised of course?

LOVE IT
J