Loving, Ever Loving You

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
Post Reply
Robert Davidson
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2005 6:19 am
Location: Melbourne Australia

Tue Sep 27, 2005 2:34 am


'LOVING, EVER LOVING YOU.'

by Robert Davidson.


I still dream of what I lost
I feel once more the lonely hurt and pain;
Loving, ever loving you
My own fond love does yet remain.

You moved on with your life
Found a new love, one who made you smile;
Loving, ever loving you
I still pine, crying all the while.

All that's left are some letters,
A faded photo, a ghost in all my dreams;
Loving, ever loving you
A silence fills my life, it seems.

I still see you now and then
I can't tell of my longing, of my pain;
Loving, ever loving you
I'd just hurt ev'rything again.
Derek
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Sep 16, 2005 3:12 pm
Location: Northumberland UK
Contact:

Tue Sep 27, 2005 1:50 pm

A very honest poem. I lost the dance down the poem, but that may just be me not being a great reader. I feel I have felt this poem before in my life. I only ever wrote poems to release all the badness and I believe it worked. Writing a poem of how weak you felt and how strong you are then reading it out over and over makes you feel better.
I am not a very good critic but I like to tell a poet his poem has been noticed and that is has something in it that many can relate to. I relate to this.
For help, Psued will probably see something in it to help with the writing of it if it needs anything. He is clever writing and reading poetry.
It is a fine poem.

Looking forward to reading more.
Post Reply