Single Use Only

[Cooper]

Single Use Only

Controlled fires
bubble and spit
spilt blood.
Tacky like sugar-
we have anti-bacterial motives.
No trail of ants in the sun.
Only drone and king
alone.

The flies
appreciate flowers.
Give them a chance
and they’ll crawl up inside you.
Inject themselves.
That’s appreciation.

The stench of clean
lack of disease makes me sick.
And as controlled fire licks
the shining sterile base
a small flare of vapour twists
upwards in front of me.
Enters my mouth
I am sick.

[oranggunung]

Cooper

this treads a strange path. I detect drug use and syringes in S1, S3 and the title, but the middle section seems to wander off into natural history, making me wonder how I found the initial links.

Do flies inject? What are they injecting? Perhaps I shouldn't ask.


I am sick

A confession?

Confused, but not dazed.


og

[Cooper]

Cheers mate,

I'm not to sure about this one myself, 'spose that's why we all post here... Yeah you picked up what I was getting at..
Hmm. Do I like it?

Thanks again

Coop

[ray miller]

tacky like sugar - I didn't like this at first, but then I guess sugar addiction is probably an identifiable disorder these days.I thought "only drone and king alone" was a good line.What pulled me up was this" the stench of clean lack of disease makes me sick". True to your word you are then sick but I don't get that line.

[nar]

Hey, Cooper.

This feels like a reaction to modern cleansliness, and Advertisings well-worked germphobia.

I agree with ogs narcotic slant.

spilt blood

a nice phrase. >thinks<

drone and king

Now, that means something, but perhaps, not what I think.

Good stuff.

- Neil

[Lovely]

Please forgive me but it sounds disturbed. Where is love and beauty please, feeling
and trust well?

Sorry: you are a good poet, but please in the better side of you, please.


Your work of late seems dark as night without moon. Amore, for more love.

Lx

[stuartryder]

Hi Coop

I found myself trying to squeeze the poem into being about a disposable bbq. Not sure that was one of your intentions; might be worth you re-reading it yourself from that angle then, if you think such a rendition cheapens your intended meaning, consider some revisions to add clarity to your text.

Cheers

Stuart

Single Use Only

Controlled fires
bubble and spit
spilt blood.
Tacky like sugar-
we have anti-bacterial motives.
No trail of ants in the sun.
Only drone and king
alone.

The flies
appreciate flowers.
Give them a chance
and they’ll crawl up inside you.
Inject themselves.
That’s appreciation.

The stench of clean
lack of disease makes me sick.
And as controlled fire licks
the shining sterile base
a small flare of vapour twists
upwards in front of me.
Enters my mouth
I am sick.