Posting Letters

[PhilipCFJohnson]

Posting Letters

I left with a sense of self completion
That one can only gain from loneliness,
Resolution and failure. The lessons are over.

Life goes on, unrelenting, without alternative.
I pass the time by filling envelopes:
Applications; forced hands clasped and knees bent.

And what about the things I’ve learned?
“Expect nothing”; A haunting precept. I pause
Before letting the letters fall from sight.

Conferring trust defies my findings,
But I send my hope, relying on deliverance
Regardless. I can’t expect it done.

Letting them go rings with finality
As I squeeze my words into the oblivion.
I’ll never see you again; I shouldn’t have to.

[Sandbanx]

Cool! This has so many possibilities. I like thinking about these kind of poems and this one to me, offers up resignation, acceptance and perhaps some sense of relief. The phrase "Expect nothing" stopped me. It is so surprising it is almost startling. But so true.

[ray miller]

I liked this, Phil. Do you mean to say filing envelopes? Or filling? Is rhetoric the correct word?

Conferring trust defies my findings - that's a good phrase.

Not sure what you're saying in that last line.

Very enjoyable, nicely understated.

[PhilipCFJohnson]

Thanks for the comments guys.

Haha, I meant filling, lol, thanks for spotting that Ray!
I think perhaps I'll rethink rhetoric, it just sounded nice to me to be honest.

The last line is just outlining that I don't trust my letters to get there and also reiterating s2l1 about resenting the position that I'm in where these letters have to be sent. But I like to leave these things in a way that they can be interpreted on a personal level, if you know what I mean, so people can put their own feelings into it too.

[Ros]

Congrats on the 2:1! Is this about job applications? I like its ambiguousness - I think I know what it's about but it could be read other ways.

Ros

[PhilipCFJohnson]

Cheers Ros, I'm pretty relieved I managed it (but also miffed that it's all over now)

Yes indeed, it's bout job applications and not hearing back from them.

I was wondering if anyone else felt the same daunting sensation when you let a letter drop into a post-box, but I'm glad it can be read differently, because I usually read my feelings into other peoples poems, and I'd like people to be able to do the same with mine.

Cheers, Phil

[Wabznasm]

Ah c'mon Phil, it isn't that bad. I'm in the same position and am having a great time signing on and reading books.

While I disagree with some of the sentiments, I think the writing of the first half is largely good. I don't necessarily think you deserve "loneliness,
Resolution and failure" so early in the poem; in fact I think you need to build up to that to really communicate it.

"Life goes on, unrelenting, without alternative." - also a little troubled by this, since it's necessary but a bit lazy -- not particularly inspiring in how it's written!

And what about the things I’ve learned?
“Expect nothing”; A haunting precept. I pause
Before letting the letters fall from sight.

Conferring trust defies my findings,
But I send my hope, relying on deliverance
Regardless. I can’t expect it done. -- fond of all of this, especially the expect nothing part.

But I'm mixed about the ending. I think it a) heaps up the gloom a bit too much, leaving a sort of murky and unimpressive after taste on the tongue, and b) since you say in your description how incredible the feeling of posting a letter is, you haven't really communicated that. You haven't really narrativised the act of posting a letter too well in my opinion, and I think you could up the ante by really getting into a great stride of description about it. Then, the finality and oblivion will mean something. At the moment, they confer a sense which, while delivered through the relentlessness of the poem, don't seem to really come from anywhere apart from the poet's mild depression. I'd like to be convinced.

But some of the writing, as said, is very good.

Dave

[PhilipCFJohnson]

I see what you're saying Dave. I was trying to be matter-of-fact, with the loneliness resolution and failure by introducing them as early concepts. I was going for a bleak theme, but not a dramatic one. If anything I was trying to convey apathy.

I'm not sure I could write anything more of significance on the act of posting a letter. Usually I'm the other way and I write too much so I was really trying to be concise, but I will give it a going over, and see what comes to me with this one.

Thanks for the help.

[brianedwards]

This poem really makes me want to shake the speaker by the shoulders and scream in his/her face to STOP feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, the post-uni situation is shite. What? You didn't know that when you started the course? Get over it!

I agree with Dave that that triumvirate of abstract misery "Loneliness" "Resolution" and "Failure" weigh the poem down terribly and coming so early on in the poem --- well I had to really force myself to read on.

I think a little self-deprecating humour would do this poem the world of good.

Sorry to be negative. Actually I'm not sorry about being negative about this poem, I'm just being polite and want you to know Phil, that my comments are purely about the poem and the speaker in the poem, and if it is about you personally, I sincerely wish you all the best in your job hunting.

B.

~

[David]

"Expect nothing" - that's "Specto nusquam", is it? Not your university slogan, surely? That must be a bit discouraging.

It's nicely phrased and handled, but it is (forgive me, Phil) a bit drippy. A bit supine, at least. Pull yourself together, man! Stand up straight! You can do it!

I'm sure you will do it, whatever it is. Something musical?

All the best, and keep your pecker up.

Cheers

David

[PhilipCFJohnson]

This poem really makes me want to shake the speaker by the shoulders and scream in his/her face to STOP feeling sorry for themselves. Yes, the post-uni situation is shite. What? You didn't know that when you started the course? Get over it!

I agree with Dave that that triumvirate of abstract misery "Loneliness" "Resolution" and "Failure" weigh the poem down terribly and coming so early on in the poem --- well I had to really force myself to read on.

I think a little self-deprecating humour would do this poem the world of good.

Sorry to be negative. Actually I'm not sorry about being negative about this poem, I'm just being polite and want you to know Phil, that my comments are purely about the poem and the speaker in the poem, and if it is about you personally, I sincerely wish you all the best in your job hunting.

B.

~

It's strange you could read that much into it, saying how others, without knowing the situation in which it was written found it vague. In fact I don't think the poem directly references leaving university anywhere at all. So even if I wasn't the speaker in this poem, you had already assumed as much purely from the context of the comments that followed it. Indeed "left" could have easily referred to a previous job, place or a relationship. What I'm trying to say is an individual isn't accountable for what emotions contribute to their poetry (or poetic voice) so it's in slightly bad taste to comment on such a personal matter in such a raucous way. However, comments on how adequately or skillfully my emotions or intentions are expressed in my writing, are very much welcomed.

That aside, thank you for the advice about the opening, I will certainly have a good think about that. Unfortunately humour isn't my strong suit so I don't think I'd be able to pull something like that off successfully., but it was a nice thought.

"Expect nothing" - that's "Specto nusquam", is it? Not your university slogan, surely? That must be a bit discouraging.

It's nicely phrased and handled, but it is (forgive me, Phil) a bit drippy. A bit supine, at least. Pull yourself together, man! Stand up straight! You can do it!

I'm sure you will do it, whatever it is. Something musical?

All the best, and keep your pecker up.

Cheers

David

Haha no UEA's slogan isn;t even in latin, it's: "Do different" (Which is a bit "nike" for me, lol).

I'm really not that affected by the joblessness, most of it was for the sake of the poem (magnifying glass effect etc.) I certainly don't want people to worry about me.

I'm going to give it a looking over, and see if I can make it a bit less dense, but I fear my poems are always going to be a wee bit supine

Thanks for the comments,

All the best
Phil

[David]

Ah, it's nice to hear from you again. Getting that 2:1 must have kept you quiet for a while.

Still singing Schubert?

[PhilipCFJohnson]

Cheers David, yes things have been pretty busy past few months, it's only now things have come to a standstill I've really had the time to get back into things, but on the bright side I've a lot of free time now to return to writing and reading!

I did some Liederfor my final recital (only one Schubert tho - Dopplegänger), but unfortunately coming home means, nobody to accompany any more!
I'm thinking of having an unauthorised and stealthy skulk around Durham university music department to see if anyone has a piano and/or wants to team up to do some stuff , otherwise I'm going to get rustier than my skoda.

It's nice to be reading poetry from the board again again though, I forgot how much it chilled me out!

[brianedwards]

Philip, read my comments again. Everything I said was directed at the poem and the speaker in the poem. If it happens to be based on your personal life, well, you need to have thicker skin to be a confessional poet. I find no reason to assume the speaker and the author are one and the same. Last I checked, poetry wasn't classed as non-fiction or biography.

I don't think your poem is vague at all and I understood it from references in the text and what could be inferred from the surrounding social milieu.
"Posting letters" "left" "failure" "applications" --- it's all in there. Plus I know about the difficulties faced by new graduates: I was one myself once. OK, I took a bit of a shot guessing Uni, but this is a poetry forum whose members are mostly adults. Plus, you posted it on the Experienced board. Not such a wild guess really.

Now, I am happy to accept accusations of "Genius" for figuring it out, but I really think they would be undeserved.

Sincerely Philip, best of luck with your future career.

B.

~

[Ros]

I meant to add earlier actually - if you missed out the word 'applications' and perhaps tweaked one or two bits, this could be about a relationship rather than job hunting, and I liked that ambiguity. Leaves an air of mystery.

Ros