Death in France

[barrie]

I wrote this in November last year.

Death in France.

Farewell then Yasser Arafat,
You won't need your prayer mat
Where you're bound.
And have you found
Money for the Ferryman,
from every Palestinian
You robbed
And left in fear?
Suha says Paris is wonderful
This time of Year.

[k-j]

That ought to be stencilled on ihs headstone. Great stuff; killer last two lines.

[Sean Kinsella]

Absolutely brillant from start to finish.

...featured Poem?

BEST REGARDS
SEAN KINSELLA

[Bombadil]

Ah, I say no.

Its clever, yes, but far to preachy and predictable to be as influential as it's intended.

A fun read, though.

Cheers,

Keith

[pseud]

I'm afraid I agree with Keith. No matter how graceful, cutting, and to the point it is, this one's still aimed at the choir.

- Caleb

[k-j]

Don't normally do this but I think you're out of line with that comment, Keith. I don't have the OED to hand but most definitions of the verb "to preach" (intransitive form, as would be the case here) run along the lines of:

1. To deliver a sermon*.
2. To give religious or moral instruction, especially in a tedious manner.

So how is this poem preachy? In what sense is it "aimed at the choir"?

As for predictable, I thought it was anything but. I think very few readers would be able to predict the last two lines. Still, sometimes a joke is even funnier for its predictability.

barrie, I forgot to say before that I don't think the last word needs to be capitalised, or the line-beginnings.

*1. A religious discourse delivered as part of a church service.
2. An often lengthy and tedious speech of reproof or exhortation, according to the internetionary.

[Bombadil]

kj,

I love you, you know that right?

That said. How do you not define this as preachy? The first two lines scream nyah-nyah and I'm better than you in one polysyllabic self-righteous jumble.

Ah, and I define predictable as such: anything I can see the end of two words past the beginning. Since we're on a sermon bent, take hymns for example: I can sing along to one, without reading it or ever having heard it. Because your usual hymn is so trite and sing-songy even my four year old can't fuck them up.

Sorry dude, but anything that rhymes mat with Arafat, found with bound and so on; in my book deserves a chuckle but not a feature spot.

Cheers,

Keith

[k-j]

The first two lines scream nyah-nyah and I'm better than you in one polysyllabic self-righteous jumble.

I agree - the poem certainly adopts a superior tone with regard to Yasser Arafat. To adopt any other tone would be bizarre, given the denouncement of his kelptocracy in lines 4 -7. But it doesn't preach a thing.

There are some polysyllabic words, as there are in most poems, although I would dispute that the words are jumbled. In fact I found it refreshingly easy to read.

Don't see how the sentiment is self-righteous, either. The poem makes no mention of the poet, but simply denounces its subject's record of corruption. If that's self-righteous, then so is all polemic and most satire.

[Bombadil]

Indeed, this could be satire's most principal failing.


I think its a difference of definitions. I never said it didn't make me chuckle, I just don't think it took an awful lot to think up, which may be satire's other chief flaw.

Ah, well. I still don't think it's a feature piece.

[pseud]

enjoying this barrie?

[barrie]

It was aimed at the choir, as you put it. I first posted it on Islam Online for the benefit of sycophantic Muslims who were declaring the old hypocrite to be a saint. It was a reply to the blindness of all who were tapping out his praises with their white sticks - You were right, it didn't take an awful lot to think out, it just came out. It wasn't even conceived as a poem until I'd written the first line, and 'prayer mat' seemed (to me) to be a perfect fit for St. Yasser's Arafat. Now whether or not satire needs to be pondered upon before being used is a good point - but I believe that it should be served hot, unlike revenge.

I just thought I'd see how people reacted.

Thanks to all for your comments, and thanks to B&P for making me stand back and look again (and again)......Cheers.

[Sean Kinsella]

I stand by my comments and wish (quite frankly) I'd written it.

Short sharp punchy and utterly destructive - the heart of satire.

I'd still feature it, but I would seem outscreamed on that one.

BEST REGARDS
SEAN KINSELLA