.

[Arcadian]

[k-j]

Wow, well worth the wait. I think the first three lines are the weakest - the idea of time, or a time, creeping up on us and startling us "suddenly" is one that's been done umpteen times before. Line three is okay but get rid of that apostrophe!

Then it gets good. Love "mandolin winds" - reminds me of a lyric by that great Aussie band The Church, "I hear a mandolin / in the Spring" (from My Little Problem I think). The p p p p in line 4 feels like little kisses on the lips - little pecks and puckers in fact - and in lines 6 and 7 I like the colours. Have to say though I'm not sure what sestinas have to do with it unless you're talking not about the poetic form but about some make of car (modified Ford Cortina?). Another lyric:

"by the American graffiti
at Elephant and Castle
in Ford Capri orange
and Volkswagen yellow and gold"

- [Carter USM (don't laugh)]

Once the sounds of jamming start "drifing", Spring has really sprung. More great sounds in S2 lines 4 and 5, 6 is a great short line and the lemon-meringue pie is a killer image. This is a bit more direct than a lot of your stuff and it benefits. Basically every line is a gem but work on a fresher way of putting the first three.

I think the indentations work well, making the poem drift along like a pie-fume or a scent of Sedan.

[dillingworth]

This is good - but please spell "where" correctly!

[Arcadian]

thanks for the review kj, dave

firstly i'am glad you know thats it's spring down under and this was a hay-fever inspired poem LOL - gets me all the time ( wind filled pollen days)

I see your point about the opening 3 lines kj - perhaps you are right, it probably needs a new approach or an inventive approach - I'll gestalt on this ... and see if anything emerges, maybe not it was a innocent reaction to my affliction, spontaneous , spur of the moment sort of thing.

sestina is a poetic reference to the forms 'pattern' - ie the arrangement of the flowers in the bed...but there is a sestina model car too ( though I can't remember if it was ford or a holden ...)

I like your acoustic ear kj, nothing is secret with you ( maybe i'll remove the advanced sounds tutorial -lol )

I have made the corrections -appreciate feedback

cheers

Arco

[pseud]

Now this is impressive; all other things mulled over already, I will only say that I enjoyed the sedan exhaust fume ending.

[Sean Kinsella]

This read well for me, and I particularly liked the following lines and imagery:-

"sprayed peppered pollen
haphazardly into mandolin winds"

and...

"photo-synthesis and sunlight
fermenting winter phlegm" (that's the best line)

Well done

BEST REGARDS
SEAN KINSELLA

[Bombadil]

This you stretching to the full span of your wings, or very nearly. It did seem a tad reserved in places, but I think it was just you being spare as usual. Well done.

Cheers.