The villainess (revised ending) (and again)

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bodkin
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Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:44 pm

David wrote:cagoules

renewals

refuels

...?
Believe me I've even been as far as "Government sponsored schools"...

I've tried again, see what you think this time...
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Ros
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Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:59 pm

how 'bout

He'll just recall that skin-tight suit
when cops come asking for the loot.

Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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bodkin
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Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:14 pm

Oooh! That's a different take...

I'll have to ponder once again.

Thanks,

Ian
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Mic
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Wed Mar 17, 2010 4:27 pm

I also think I preferred the original final stanza, though I'd make the following little changes

She throws the guard a flip salute
and saunters past while he just drools
(he only sees the skin-tight suit)
then off she hops with all the loot. (or off she 'skips' or 'goes')
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi
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