MND

[stuartryder]

1 Across

Stolen my neighbour’s parking space today
By mutual arrangement - I want to be closer
To my front door, he wants a better turning circle.
Fell over yesterday, hence the swap. Was embarrassed
To begin with, but it’s worked out well.

2 Down

I feel like I could complete the Observer Crossword
In ten minutes flat, effortlessly navigating
Lights unclued, homonymic wordplays, the like.
I feel like I could bounce around a library
On a space hopper. Pluck books from any shelf.

3 Across

Taken delivery of an oxidiser or something.
It stops me from inhaling my own CO2 at night.
Sometimes I turn it off so I can get some sleep,
Then I wheeze the hours away, eventually
Turning it back on. Night becomes my day.

4 Down

The landlord installed a handrail last week,
I think he paid for it, or I might’ve, doesn’t matter.
The long and the short of it, great stuff. Now I got
Something for my left hand as well as my right.
It’s twice as quick to get up the steps.

5 Across, Down

They suggested I go into sheltered housing.
You know, nurses, periodic care,
On-buzzer. Can’t buzz for independence
Though. Can’t drive your own car,
Or shit alone. Soon they’ll have

My keys away, and my Andrex.
They’ll say Come on Bill,
Time for your morning pill,
Double today because you forgot it
Last night. Lovely morning, isn’t it?

[Helen Bywater]

1 Across

Stolen my neighbour’s parking space today
By mutual arrangement - I want to be closer
To my front door, he wants a better turning circle.
Fell over yesterday, hence the swap. Was embarrassed
To begin with, but it’s worked out well.

2 Down

I feel like I could complete the Observer Crossword
In ten minutes flat, effortlessly navigating
Lights unclued, homonymic wordplays, the like.
I feel like I could bounce around a library
On a space hopper. Pluck books from any shelf.

3 Across

Taken delivery of an oxidiser or something.
It stops me from inhaling my own CO2 at night.
Sometimes I turn it off so I can get some sleep,
Then I wheeze the hours away, eventually
Turning it back on. Night becomes my day.

4 Down

The landlord installed a handrail last week,
I think he paid for it, or I might’ve, doesn’t matter.
The long and the short of it, great stuff. Now I got
Something for my left hand as well as my right.
It’s twice as quick to get up the steps.

5 Across, Down

They suggested I go into sheltered housing.
You know, nurses, periodic care,
On-buzzer. Can’t buzz for independence
Though. Can’t drive your own car,
Or shit alone. Soon they’ll have

My keys away, and my Andrex.
They’ll say Come on Bill,
Time for your morning pill,
Double today because you forgot it
Last night. Lovely morning, isn’t it?

Hi Stuart,

I just looked at this again, and realised I'd misread the title the first time. I thought it said "MIND" and didn't get the significance. I think it's time I started wearing reading glasses.

It's a depressing subject. It's worth writing about, but I felt I wanted to know more about Bill, and who he is, apart from his condition. We know he's mentally alert, and good at crosswords - I'd like to see more of that side of him.

I'm not sure what the significance of "across" and "down" is - crosswords, obviously, but I didn't understand your basis for choosing them for each stanza. I think it would work better if you used "across" for positive changes, and "down" for negative ones. Perhaps that's what you were driving at in a general sense - that's Bill's life is all acrosses and downs, with no more ups, but you could be more precise in the way you show that.

Helen