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Activists
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 5:12 am
by william
I followed a yelping man
to the edge of the forest
where he pointed
to a dying leaf, weeping.
...
As I tried to explain the natural cycle of things,
how "this time, his fears were foolish,"
he gathered friends,
made some make-shift signs
shut his sensitive eyes
and sang Kum-Bye-Ya,
74 times
before I headed back for my car.
And as I drove away from the picket line,
someone in their 6-miles-to-the-gallon-Hummer
cut me off.
His bumper sticker read:
“RESPECT THE EARTH AND ALL THAT LIVES”
Apparently I didn’t qualify.
this is just to say
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 4:34 pm
by jkvanburen
"made some make-shift signs
shut his sensitive eyes
and sang Kum-Bye-Ya,
74 times "
cracked me up!
save the humans
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:39 pm
by cameron
Love the humour in this. One of my pet hates is couch potatoes in 4x4 vehicles. If you live up a farm track in deepest Yorkshire maybe - but totally unnecessary for Tescos.
Cam
Posted: Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:51 pm
by Bombadil
I liked this too much for further words.
Accolades.
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 2:12 am
by that girl
I'm still trying to figure out the need for a sports utility vehicle in the Midwest United States. Sigh...
Willie, can I call ya Willie?, I think this comedy is great, a few niggles though:
I don't quite understand the over exaggerated line break and hesitation; I think the two thoughts pretty much go right together.
Also, consider ending the sentence after the quote, and start a new one with "He gathered".
"As I drove" instead of "And as I drove".
Minor, minor changes. Please, do with them as you will. Greatly enjpyed this Willie, glad you joined.
.that girl.
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2005 4:48 am
by william
hello Jennifer, save the humans indeed. They (we) need it. Thank you for reading.
hello Cam, watch it. I might just be one of your pet hates. (ha not really I drive a Honda.)
hello bombadude, thank you kindly for the accolades. I do believe you are the first to ever offer me any. For anything.
hello thatgirl, niggles pondered and appreciated. (niggle is a verb) Oh, and SUVs? I say it is consumerism, or just because we can. I'd say good old fashioned machismo, but you see soccer moms in those things.
- willie