Fucking prolific

[Bombadil]

I think I get worse
in the dark, but then don't we
all?

I can't figure
out why I cried before the fall.
Everything jumbles

and destitution shakes from my fingers
tripping me up and

reassuring me, yes reassuring me
that the concept of grace and the pursuit

of god is the thing that makes us schizos.

I am world weary and bleary eyed and teary footed
dragging myself on the wings of self pity
I search of a self that's less pithy, gritty, shitty, fuck-witty.

And I think I shall die on a day that is not my own, since every one
so far has controlled me, and not the other way around.

Mastery escapes me and masturbation taunts me
as much as any sonnet when I ponder touching the black
keys of my creativity.

Is it possible to be prolific and yet unpopular? Yes, we call
that pathetic, don't we?

Here I sit, feeling thus.

Very sad, suddenly sleepy

and in need of a

good

slow

fuck

...

How is this poetry?

I posted it didn't I?

[unchained soul]

Hi Keith, Another very interesting poem as usual. Very deep too. What do you mean by teary footed?

Liked the line "I search of a self that's less pithy, gritty, shitty, fuck-witty."
Creates a very vivid image.

Rach

[twelveoone]

"I am world weary and bleary eyed and teary footed"

,is one of those lines I would love to hate, mostly for being sooo bad. I can't, it works followed by these two:

"dragging myself on the wings of self pity
I search of a self that's less pithy, gritty, shitty, fuck-witty."

[Bombadil]

Teary footed....

cried so much, I'm walking in my own mud.


So you can't hate them, right?

[pseud]

keith, I have to say this sounds more like a poem caught between blatant self-pity and a tired, pessimistic rant. A bit hard to feel sorrow for the narrator for that reason...(maybe I wasn't meant to?)

twelve, "bad" is a bit too abstract when describing lines, I think. Do you mean "I am world weary and bleary eyed and teary footed" is poorly crafted? I find that some poorly crafted lines still grip people by the throat, and vice versa...what do you think?

- Caleb

[Bombadil]

Nah, no sorrow.

I was pissed off about not being able to go to sleep. And not having gotten any. And in general. When I'm unbalanced, I'm quite the angry little fucker.

Good analysis, I'd say.

[pb]

'the black keys of my creativity'

What an intriguing image. cracking line.

[Bombadil]

cheers peebs. always glad to tickle your fancy.


-K