Poetry Forum

Rachel,

I like this one the most of all of yours so far, not because of what you are describing--which is alluring enough--but because of the way you are describing it. Well done.

Cheers.

aye. What he said. Though I liked the coffee cup poem too.

Keith,

Thanks. Im glad you like it. All done with your help of course. I'll have to compare this one to my Walking Wounded one so I can make that one better.

Caleb,

Thanks as well.

Rach

Full lips and a pretty face compensate for
disagreeable teeth; argumentative at best,
some refusing to stand side by side.

I love the way you describe the teeth here, nice work.

I like this poem as a whole although use of the word 'very' in poetry always makes me nervous because there must be a better word to use. You use it twice in this one and I think you would do better if you thought about alternatives. Some of the lines are cliched, but I got the impression that it was intentional and I like the effect it achieves. There is a tension in this poem between the approval of the individual and the approval of society, and society tends to express its disapproval of certain things through cliches.

Thanks for posting this, I look forward to reading more.

Seeks.

I loved the line:

"disagreeable teeth; argumentative at best"

it's the best line I've read all day.

Hi Seeks,

Thanks for your comments. I know what you mean about the word very and I think you're right there. I dont like repeating words. Didnt realise I had. Ooops. lol. Im glad you liked it.

Figure Eight,

Thanks alot for saying that. Made me smile.

Rach