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No-one will ever wake like you
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 11:57 am
by figure eight
i only “know” you sleeping
(so seldom) by my side, on yours.
i count your secrets (hairs too few)
for warmdark, unsleepy hours.
would the why of you
(because of him)
be better, the if of other?
but…
slowly rising,
raising shoulders absolve your (YES)terday.
no-one, my forgiven love,
will ever wake like you.
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 3:54 pm
by k-j
Got a bit of everything, tone, technique, intrigue. Lovely.
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 6:12 pm
by camus
Welcome F8,
Fine first post.
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 6:51 pm
by Bombadil
fucker. you're gonna beat me to another hundred mark.
Ah, Figure,
Welcome. Good stuff. Please post more.
Cheers,
Bombadil
Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2005 7:13 pm
by dillingworth
loved it, esp the way you play with the possibilities in combining words and compound elements of words - "warmdark", "(YES)terday". nice effect in this poem, but don't wear it out...
hope to see more of your stuff soon - great to read another first post.
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 8:25 am
by cameron
Congratulations F8. This has been chosen by Camus as the Featured Poem for the month.
It means you get to choose the next one in 3/4 weeks ( assuming you want to?)
Cam
Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2005 1:40 pm
by figure eight
Thank you very much. This poem means a lot to me but I'm glad someone else liked it too. Looking forward to picking the next featured poem.
F8