Poetry Forum

I loved sitting beside you,
My desk the front of house,
To listen to you touch-type,
And double click your mouse.

A melody of post-it notes,
You made each keystroke rhyme.
Each day another opus,
Kept in perfect flexitime.

Now 9 to 5 is not the same,
It’s so quiet without you.
All that’s left: your farewell memo,
A rhapsody in biro blue.

perfectly captures the depressing mundane life in an office, hints at something better but denies it. i am british, hence i crave disappointment: this was therefore perfect for me!

Hi F8 and welcome to the forum.

Impressed by your stuff so far.

The first 2 stanzas of this, motor along nicely but I must admit the last 1 didn't work so well for me. The problem seemed to revolve around the inverted 'biro blue'. Maybe you could have another bash at it. I think it was Yeats who said: "If it looks like you've worked hard at it; you haven't worked hard enough at it".

Cheers
Cam
ps I see you are an Elliott Smith fan. Top man.

dilingworth, I see you are a Bill Bailey fan! Top man.

Thanks for the advice, the final stanza is a little forced you're right. I'll have a look at that and try flipping the "biro blue" around or lose it altogether.

I'd never heard the quote before, but it is very true.

Thanks again,

F8

just delete the word biro and it works perfectly

Ack! She lives!

Hullo! Where've you been, m'mselle?

here and there, nowhere and everywhere but never too far away

Getting hitched next year so busy making girly arrangements, been practicing the piano, piddling about with domestic stuff, reading, sleeping, eating- haven't written anything for a long while now...it'll come back, think I'm going thru a lazy phase

Congratulations

thank you and apologies to the author of the poem, didn't mean to divert attention from your poetry.