Poetry Forum

A MESS OF HEART-BREAK

by Robert Davidson

Her passing took his last spark of life
Left him bereft with only his grief to bear
The last bit of his heart's dream was taken -
A love portion so precious and rare.

A mess of heart-break
Not told in words but in sobs
I miss her so bad
Intense is my cry as my breaking heart throbs.

I cry out
From the bottomless well of my loneliness
I cry my sorrow aloud
So much ache and sadness, I wear like a ghostly shroud.

A mess of heart-break
Not told in words but in sobs
I miss her so bad
Intrense is my cry as my breaking heart throbs.

He was aware things were closing down for him
As they laid her beneath the broken sod
A man who had wrestled his demon and lost
Was now ready to go home to God.

sorry, but i found this cliched, worn out and repetitive. "the bottomless well of my loneliness" in one of the phrases you need to reconsider - also i found this a bit teen-angsty for my taste.

i quite enjoyed your other poems, though: perhaps this is a one-off.

RD,

Remember, when I'm done, I'd do this to anyone here--its not just because you're new.

Akay. The language is antiquated and reversed: it does not sound romantic it sounds pathetic. The spelling...check it. And the subject matter, is well...nevermind, dill covered that. Ah, and a little niggle: you needn't shout your titles.

Look forward to more, of a different ilk.

Cheers,

Keith

Title has been 'un-shouted'. Message to all posters: please don't use capitals for poems and their titles. This is attention seeking. Let the poem speak for itself.

Cam

I'd do this to anyone here--its not just because you're new

Aye Keith that's why we value your opinions.