Page 1 of 1
apart.
Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:59 pm
by that girl
I fell into three equal pieces this morning.
One third of me went to school,
aced a test,
felt nothing but the need to eat.
Still another third wrote a poem and
committed suicide naked,
with a wreath on her head.
The other 33.3 percent was already dead.
I hope I'll come back together again.
.tg.
Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 6:07 pm
by Bombadil
Naked with a wreath on your head.
Really the only cool way to go, if you must.
"She stole my suicide..."
Anybody?
Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 9:28 pm
by pseud
I like this one. It's like a deeper, modern Humpty Dumpty.
Posted: Tue Sep 06, 2005 11:22 pm
by twelveoone
I give up, which third wrote this?
Oh, the second third,
can I buy the first one dinner, we can discuss what to do with the bodies.
Why did you change to percent for the last third?
Posted: Wed Sep 07, 2005 7:41 am
by Macavity
with a wreath on her head.
made me think laurel
I hope I'll come back together again.
The allusion is fine, 'hope' sounded lame.
enjoyed the poem
cheers
mac
Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 4:42 pm
by that girl
Interesting,
No one saw religious imagery?
hmm...
"Hope" is a bit lame. I'll fix it.
.tg.
Posted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 5:19 pm
by Bombadil
perhaps a bit, not too blatant though.