Poetry Forum

Through the summer
I would sit and watch the clouds.
See them changing shape,
Fluffy, large and small.

These things they are so simple,
Still they catch our eye.
We sit and watch and wonder,
As they fill the sky.

Making shapes familiar,
And few that are unknown.
They started as a mist,
How mighty they have grown.

So these silent giants,
Float and pass us by.
Moving across the landscape,
As sunlight hits the sky.

Hello Bardialus.

I like the simplicity here. A good metaphor, easy to see and not overdone. It does get a little sing-songy though, in my opinion. If it were my poem, I'd crop it and keep the first and third stanzas as the poem, they seem to be the stronger two and tell the story adequately.

- Caleb

Hello. I def agree with pseudonymous. I like the simplicity here as well and the fact that we shouldnt take such amazing things for granted. best wishes mj

Thanks for the comments ppl

I appreciate the 'sing song' comment caleb, I never really noticed it till now. Hmm maybe a few alterations may be required to give it that polish I was after...

Cheers all