Poetry Forum

This is for Phil Bastard Collins who wrote Easy Lover.

Ooh ooh me and my baby got a greasy kind of love
Slippy and sticky we get licky licky on the stairways up above
the colonades of cold contaminated slime...
Hey woman you ooze you lose
And you ain't no gal of mine

Oooh baby our disease is our claim to fame
Jealousies breed like germs as we sneeze n weeze
In a doorway in the rain

Ooh ooh my gal is so cute
The way she foams at the mouth
I think it could be rabies
Oh, now I see she's pointing mouth
'Me want to have some babies!'

Oh yeh me and my baby got some good ol' greasy style lovin'
Filling her full of greasy grease
Another bun in't oven
(There'll never again be peace!!)

You see my protection was a prayer
Our lubrication chip shop lard
when she grinned that grin of toothless sin
and said 'Is it nice and 'ard?'

So now me and my baby got a greasy kind of child
Horrible little bag of farts,
Completely feral and wild

I'd drown the little bugger
But my arms have dropped off you see
That greasy kinda lovin'
Has given me leprosy!

Do you perform your stuff? If you could sharpen it up a bit you might have a promising career on the circuit.

This is in very bad taste but is pretty funny. Phil Collins and his Black and Decker workmate (keyboard) is always worth a pop in my book.

Cam

Ha ha. Brilliant.

Crazy and funny. I like the dedication before the poem even starts.

He he he! Anything that mocks Phil Collins is good in my book! Very amusing.