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mel
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2005 5:37 pm
Location: UK

Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:51 am

Punctuatio'n I dont care if my sense is not clear?
I prefer clouds)

Inverted Commas "such" irony
I am an extrovert:

I, have no! ruler but I am straight

)exasperating exclamation(

Comma I am not at your comma-nd
Full stop
Such, dictatorship

.I feel liberated
I will expend you at my desire
Thrown like confetti,
pseud
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2862
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:19 am
Location: St. Louis, MO

Sat Sep 24, 2005 3:43 pm

I remember seeing poems written in java script and in crossword shapes...this reminds me of them.

I enjoyed this thoroughly. This is golden - and I will brow-beat anyone who dares say anything negative about this poem.

(...joking.)

If I've not said it, welcome.

- Caleb
Sproutman
Posts: 3
Joined: Sat Sep 24, 2005 5:16 pm

Sat Sep 24, 2005 7:22 pm

yet again a great piece of originality. Well done Mel a rebel with a cause. I would like to read more. full stop.
k-j
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 3004
Joined: Thu Aug 04, 2005 10:37 pm
Location: Denver, CO

Sun Sep 25, 2005 4:22 am

Hi Mel. This is a decent piss-take (I hope) of cummings and his ilk but it seems a bit laboured to me - for example, in line seven, where the pun is s-p-e-l-l-e-d out. The joke's just layed on a bit thick for my liking; pithier and drier (like your dictionary one) would make it a little less artschool.
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