Page 1 of 1

forced work

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 2:24 am
by Yesterday
streching canvas across the paper
making splotches into shapes
forcing form to which is free
swirling lines cross the page
creating worth in mind's eye
itching fingers hold their peace
imple the ethused to slowly cease

forced work

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 12:49 pm
by susie g
I like this. I think it catches the frustrations of trying to catch Form out a formless Idea.

Just a couple of thoughts:

"forcing form to which is free"

I had to read this line a couple of times to sort out what I thought it might mean. Would it work as " forcing form on what is free", as I think that is what it might mean ?

"imple the ethused to slowly cease"

Not sure if this is a case of fingers not keeping up with thoughts so is it
"impel the enthused to slowly cease"

Eitherways, both lines are very effective.
I like the alliteration of
Forcing Form to which is Free, carries the strength and determination of the creator to get the result he wants.

The longer vowel sounds of the last line bring everything to a satisfied conclusion so that the work is rounded off and complete.

Wish my job finished like this!!

Sue

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 4:04 am
by Yesterday
thanks,

though, i almost don't like the person in this poem since they are forcing a free thing to take their form, in a way though they have my respect.

thanks for your advise, i will work on it :)