Hospital's Night Shift

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
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pseud
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Sun Oct 09, 2005 4:52 pm

The young man held his crosslegged crumpled wife,
The nurses downed their staple coffee, palmed their eyes,
“soiled utility” written on their next door. Six or seven winds
pass the frigid hour, caffeine churns my mind, wraps back to
only yesterday, when I took their insurance cards, smiling resigned,
when Obstetrics was still a happy floor.
Bombadil
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Location: The hills are my home, the mountains where I roam.
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Mon Oct 10, 2005 11:26 pm

ouch. sad.
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BlueForAQuarter
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2005 1:01 am
Location: Boston
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Tue Oct 11, 2005 1:21 pm

Very sad.
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