Poetry Forum

Foreseen Futures

Every dark tear you sweat shallowly swims to my lips,
I can’t see my turmoil, hidden in your eyes,
The crimson sharpened blade, still penetrating my heart,
Every dark fear you leak brings itself inside me, to taste my kiss,
My heart bleeds and the blade digs deeper, Everytime your face cries,
I wish your darkness would release its hold on me, so I could make a new start,

I looked in the mirror and saw your picture,
A deep salmon smile was upon your lips,
Painted black desire on your fingertips,
Drawing me forever near, Unable to clamber away,
Leave my mind in peace; let me kiss your poison on my last day,

I saw the future in your eyes,
Waving hands, expelling my demise,
I was promised heaven and led to hell,
Passion is a breath you cannot expel, (Chorus)

The end is just one step away,
Boiling in deep desire, to not take the leap,
Too for once not rely on faith,
When the end of this prison is only one step away,
Just as I was falling, in my bliss,
You appeared and delivered your kiss,
The poising slowly infected my vision,
No longer fresh skies, but blood of crimson,

And then I woke, I wondered is this heaven,
But my bliss was torn away, as I woke again in prison,
In your arms of gold, and kiss of death,
I was encased forever in your grip,

I saw the future in your eyes,
Waving hands, expelling my demise,
I was promised heaven and led to hell,
Passion is a breath you cannot expel, (Chorus)

I leave a message as my hope slowly fades away in your arms,
Never leave what you want to keep; never kiss what you can’t escape,
Forever in loves true grip, bliss will be received the same,
So as the drapery falls, and the stage disappears,
I leave my name to be remembered for years, the scars of love forever on my chest,
But I respond to her call, I cannot escape, so never yearn what you don’t want,
I yearned for Lucifer’s kiss, and reborn into prison on the dark angels lips,

I saw the future in your eyes,
Waving hands, expelling my demise,
I was promised heaven and led to hell,
Passion is a breath you cannot expel, (Chorus)

hello Spike, I dont think we've met. Ahem, enough pleasantries. Two things I wanted to say really: (1) maybe reconsider the religious imagery, it doesn't start till the first chorus and I'm not sure it acheives what you want it to. "I thought this was heaven but really it's hell" has kind of been done before. (2) Now that you've done the hard work (yay) maybe it's time to double back and crop it so that it is more focused.

It'd be interesting to hear this sung aloud.

- william

still im proud of it, *styrokes lyrics*

But i prefer writing off insparation never-the-less

you can be proud of it, go ahead. I just thought you placed it here for analyzing, is all.

- will

i did, i just like stroking it

>bump<

In Viz many moons ago there was a one frame cartoon of a bloke and his wife sat before a doctors consultation table.The old blokes pants are round his ankles.The caption reads - "Doctor, my husband has just had a stroke!"...It made me laugh.
Expressive poem by the way.

Could have been written by Chris De burgh himself, no offence to either of you.

Again chock full of awful cliches, sorry.

bumps are like herpes, they only should come up under very specific circumstances...not gratuitously...

all herpes are bumps but not all bumps are herpes...

not applicable in this case but sounded like sage wisdom when I thought it.

me=confused