Dying Plant Feeding Gas Balloon

[beautifulloser]

A toast to morning gins, Sunshine.
It's not as though you're about
to burst on me tonight, is it?
Inevitable as our ends will be.

There is little of your heart here
now. The grid's hue makes the sky seem
a worthy blue, your ancestors remain
in every city out of view

starved of inspiring words
in me. I cannot speak for you
arguing with yourself. Burning
as you are because you must be.


V1

Nowt makes me older, sunshine.
It's not as though you're about
to burst on me tonight, is it?
Inevitable as our ends will be.

There is little of your heart here
now, although the grid makes the sky
seem blue, your ancestors remain
momentarily, out of view

starved of saying any words
to me. I cannot speak for you
arguing with yourself. Burning
as you are because you must be.

[brianedwards]

Love it! Sorry I can't say more but this just grabs me.

B.

[camus]

Colloquial language with a message of sorts.

I tried to amalgamte the dying plant and gas balloon, which would seem the logical place to start? BUT, got lost in the metaphor.

One of those poems that's immediately likeable without really knowing why?

Good to see you writing.

x

[Raincoat]

Yummy god damn yummy. Sorry can't think of anything but wow! I too am struggling with the metaphor. with the ancestors line - i was thinking is it about green biofuels / burning forests for palm oil, but I don't really care it's so unusual and evocative. Really enjoyed.

[Arian]

I'm afraid, try as I might, I can't extract an awful lot from this as a piece.

Still, s2 - oddly punctuated though it is - has a nice sound and a persuasive sense of significance. It's just that I can't work out what that significance is. Perhaps that makes it a great poem!

Cheers
peter

[Antcliff]

Hi
Like some of the others I rather enjoyed this.
Like some of the others I do not understand it, but it does have a pleasing enigmatic quality. The other day someone mentioned the poetry of Charles Simic to me which, like this, has a certain enigmatic quality..almost riddling.
Liked sound of middle stanza.
Best wishes,
Ant.

[brianedwards]

I am confused that others find the poem confusing. I read it to a group of students yesterday (10th grade) and they grasped it straight away. Agree with the comment about punc in S2 though, yes.

B.

[Thoth]

Well, not being a 10th grader yet, this was completely lost on me. Admittedly I struggle with abstract and where I come from life is perhaps more direct.

It doesn't seem to got anywhere and the title was unhelpful. A cryptic puzzle that my tired old brain was not up to solving. Sorry Sol, old age is a bastard even for you.

[beautifulloser]

Better late than never . . . .

Quite liked this one at the time and just got around to (hopefully) improving it.

x

[1lankest]

Just to say how much I like this poem....

Very glad you have brought it back from the dead in time for me to enjoy it!

I think the meaning does come through nicely, thanks largely to the title but this is fine.

Great stuff.

Luke