Poetry Forum

Northamerica zooms with ease.
Afghanistan drinks thunder equinox.
No one's cool under Captain Angora!

Spider violins play at dawn, hurricanes blow
blocked flugelhorns, a gram clerk, fender
in hand, toys with crayfish notes…

Tin voyage nitrogen - lawyerly explodes:
A retailer mother-in-law, a sadistic Joseph
and a division hat – divide…

What now of the rabbit climb duckling?
What say you of the library vessel?
The cup desert airship? NO, there

Is nothing left to week bite upon,
Nothing gazed or glanced, only
blue persian porcupine fiction…

Assuming these are received emails and not from your sent folder, here's what I think.

You guys want me to offer constructive criticism before I can post, and I try, I really do, but you sure do make it difficult at times! It is almost impossible to crit anything about this since every line is so distinctly removed from all others. Or are they all the same and that's the catch? I donno?

But:

I think the word "insane' in the title is totally unnecessary.

I also think you may need to upgrade your email filters!

I'm not sure what to make of this actually, (but I am sure the others will) although full marks for creativity and for finding a few silk purses where I never would have found one. The fact that I have read it three times already certainly says something about it. There are some very interesting ideas here which could be used to seed a few very good poems ("toys with crayfish notes" is terrific, as is "tin voyage nitrogen") but "blocked flugelhorns?" Impossible!

Can you include a disclaimer please, that none of those emails came from me?

Sandbanx,

I also think you may need to upgrade your email filters!

I think maybe you're right.

I just found some of the language in these spam emails, erm, interesting. So I thought I'd attempt to put them together in a cohesive/un-cohesive manner.

I agree about the title, I may remove the brackets altogether. Also some of the more nonsensical lines are pushing it, BUT they can be read into:
For example I know what "Afghanistan drinks thunder equinox" means to me...

cheers
Kris

Hi
I have no idea why but I do like stanza 2...hurricanes and flugelhorns.
Ant

I used to get great spam. Titles like horny brunette rodent fuck tomato car and small tits asian love suck dildo soup. All I get now is money offers and the like: Travis your 1500 dollar e-check has arrived! The world's gone to the fucking dogs.

Travis dear boy, it's quite obvious why your spam has become staid and boring. Your spam filter has recognised your browsing habits, you no longer browse for porn! You have a few fixed sites you like to visit and that's that. You now browse for medical insurance or whatever you poor fucks have over the pond. That said I'll soon be doing the same, the NHS is dying, gasping its last breath...

My life in spam...

These are all far better than the spam I get too. Perhaps I need to stay in more. (If that were possible.)

Makes a neat and very funky poem too.

Cheers

David

I like this Kris, great fun.

How about unfiltered as a title?

Cheers,
Nash.

Stanza 4 is my favourite. It reminded me of the duckrabbit:



I'm not quite sure how this was made... what did the original spam look like?

I like it though, as you say it can be "read into", which is sometimes enough for me.

Ben

Well the spam I receive on occasion is basically crammed with a strange mixture of words and phrases. I believe this is to get around the spam filters. I've still not purchased any viagra from them though, so it doesn't work very well.

Here are the words and phrases that were contained in 3 spam emails:

door afghanistan drink thunder equinox
iris broker hurricane blow captain angora
vest riddle crayfish temper northamerica
sprout soybean popcorn picture tortellini paste sweatshirt millisecond
tank miniskirt jellyfish tanker girl makeup
fight week bite statistic joseph
spider violin viola chard hip kayak

shell porch hardhat fender freckle turkey
toe mile purpose sail gladiolus
gram clerk finger bead lawyer leek
traffic ferry doll chinese dad
bubble library vessel donna dragon periodical glockenspiel
offence division hat example
block flugelhorn yew calculator pest prose algeria

cup desert airship bit bankbook
nitrogen tin voyage cheese newsstand zoology trick
leaf ink addition bat estimate switch chime
watchmaker witness ring antarctica wrecker chill dahlia
retailer motherinlaw hell dedication sale field saturday
blue persian porcupine fiction
currency garlic otter rabbit climb duckling
lier pond farmer psychiatrist hope index
plantation dancer pike bracket

Fill your boots.

I think a "watchmaker witness" could well be conned by a "zoology trick" in fact it's inevitable.

Thanks for dropping by David and Nash.

Yes "unfiltered" would work well.

cheers
Kris