gimme a title for this please
Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:24 pm
(My first vilanelle, neva tried this before but I saw it on ur tutorials thought I'd give it a shot- need your feed back on this one or should I stick to prose-poetry.)
See these cuts on my hand
From where we played, scaling a wall
Through pain of glass and sand
Barriers protected us from this land
A playground of debris for us to haul
See these cuts on my hand?
They came to be a brand
For capricious youth who crawl
Through pain of glass and sand
It was not as planned
To be here too ready to fall
See these cuts on my hand?
Marks made to understand
The tenebrous times we recall
Through pain of glass and sand
Sodden grey sullies the journey spanned
Littered by rusted relics that call
‘See these cuts on my hand?’
through pain of glass and sand.
See these cuts on my hand
From where we played, scaling a wall
Through pain of glass and sand
Barriers protected us from this land
A playground of debris for us to haul
See these cuts on my hand?
They came to be a brand
For capricious youth who crawl
Through pain of glass and sand
It was not as planned
To be here too ready to fall
See these cuts on my hand?
Marks made to understand
The tenebrous times we recall
Through pain of glass and sand
Sodden grey sullies the journey spanned
Littered by rusted relics that call
‘See these cuts on my hand?’
through pain of glass and sand.