Weeding

[Minstrel]

I kicked a plastic water butt
and watched the surface frown.
Felt the rough sawn edge of it
shoulder the jolt,
and like Frost’s ivy framed god
(to my mind Pan,
for he, to me, is most like man)
saw something white,
beyond my reflection.

My father, his grandfathers knife
poised amongst the rhubarb stems,
complained of Mares Tail in the onion bed.
And suggested that there instead,
an equally unobtainable root
would form a more tangible link
to that which lies beneath the surface!

[camus]

Most excellent,

Seriously, you may not believe me, but I kicked a water butt today!

Its surface didn't frown though, I wish it did, great image.

I would say whenever ( ) are used in a poem the content is usually quite awkward as I found (to my mind Pan) to be. Mind you once I'd read it a couple of times it flowed well into the next line, mmmmmmmmm I'm not sure.

I also enjoyed the exact details of your Father's garden mumblings, I can see it now.

Great read.

[Spike]

I loved this. not sure why, i dont kick water butts.

[camus]

Also the title.

Weeding has various connotations, as in Digging By Seamus Heaney which this poem kinda reminded me of, yet these are not used. Was the poem a straight forward descriptive approach or did I miss the underlying message?

Also the first stanza seems totally diconnected, or I should say the stanzas don't seem to connect, again I may be missing something.

I'm "Digging" because I'd like to understand the poem a little more.

cheers
Kris

[lemur]

I really enjoyed this too; loved the sounds and patterns of the words. I think the line in brackets might be a bit clearer if you kept the following line in brackets too, since the two seem to be together:

(to my mind Pan
for he, to me, is most like man),

The only thing I wasn't sure about was the exclamation mark at the very end...didn't really understand why it was there.

[Minstrel]

Agreed, better with both lines in brackets. Exclamation is for my fathers seeming rebuke for my idle dreaming when there was work to be done.

Thankyou for your comments people.

Kris, will try to answer your questions in detail when I have more time, busy trying to finish a job, hate having to work late on fridays!

David.

[cameron]

Hey Minny,

Definitely your best so far. Glad to see you've ditched the Alfred Tennyson impersonations!

C

[Minstrel]

Yes Cam, I passed from out that whitewashed phase.

Kris. Was basically just a descriptive approach. I think working with soil has a lot of poetic connotations. Most of my favourite poets come from that kind of background. Robert Frost being one of them. Would recommend 'For Once, Then, Something' to anyone who hasn't read it.

Dave.