Xmas

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camus
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Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:41 am

Xmas

Christmas comes with loving cheer
Though it starts earlier every year.

The pumpkins have no time to rot,
The Guy Fawke’s cinders blackened

Plot still smoulders beneath the fairy
Lights, worrying the national grid.

The shelves are stacked, the skeletons
Sacked, replaced by evil elves.

As muzac’s pumped into the malls, we
Hum along despite ourselves. Half

Cocked Noddy Holders, dumb assed retail
Revolvers; tis a season to be jolly,

Don white beards and bell tipped
Hats at drunken office parties.

Regretting sloppy-snogs under plastic
Mistletoe folly; ringing in at half past

Ten with excuses beyond hilarity. Then
Comes the day old Christ was born, it’s

Positively balmy, the sun shines down,
Increasing frowns and tales of seventies

Snowdrifts. So we all chow down the Turkey
Line and expand our Brussels sprout midriffs.

Chomp on chocolate nuts, choke on TV
Repeats, chat with ancient relatives about

How we’ve grown and how they’ve shrunk,
And how oranges ARE NOT the only fruit.

And so we doze and fart and long for the
Day Auld Lang Syne rears its tuneful

Head so we can throw away the tree,
Count down to start all over again.

Happy Xmas.

----------------------------------------------------------


Bah Humbug. Actually I enjoy Christmas. Of course I'd prefer to be a wealthy Dickensian character at Xmas time, what a picture.
Last edited by camus on Sat Nov 12, 2005 8:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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barrie
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Sat Nov 12, 2005 1:55 pm

Merry Cynicism and a drunken Mahogany!
cameron
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Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:08 pm

It's going to take some beating. Bring them on.

Cam
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Thomas
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Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:16 pm

Nice one Camus nearly as good as mine :evil: :lol: :lol:

All jokes aside a good piece yet again you should be banned :lol: :lol:
only kidding well entered Camus should be a winner... :wink:

Tom.
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Sat Nov 12, 2005 6:30 pm

Och, shite save me from the emoticon overload.

Man, those happy little fuckers irritate me...

As I said before, Kris, well done.
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camus
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Sat Nov 12, 2005 8:38 pm

"well entered Camus should be a winner..."

So far perhaps, early days yet. You went for the traditional approach, I the cynical approach, I'm interested to see the other approaches.

In fact to be harsh upon myself the poem is stacked with christmas cliches, whether that's ok in this instance I'm not sure. Plus whenever I attempt to rhyme, meter goes to shit, so looking back again I'm far from happy, can we enter 2? Perhpas write from christmas tree's point of view.

cheers
Kris
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cameron
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Sun Nov 13, 2005 10:52 am

Anyone can enter more than 1 if they feel inclined.

Cam
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Mon Nov 14, 2005 3:43 pm

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Last edited by Saul on Fri Dec 07, 2012 5:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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camus
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Mon Nov 14, 2005 7:08 pm

"but I want to read/speak it with a Scottish accent for some reason"

Is it because you're Scottish?

I tried it in my Scottish come Pakistani come Welsh accent, yeh i see what you mean.

cheers
Kris
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Last edited by Saul on Fri Dec 07, 2012 5:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
pseud
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Mon Nov 14, 2005 9:45 pm

eh there are occasions when I hear William Shattner as I read a poem. Thankfully it is not often, and not with this poem.

This is great Kris. "too cynical to be brilliant" perhaps, but then perhaps maybe not. I shall now have to take a different tact, you took mine (and did it much better)...
"Don't treat your common sense like an umbrella. When you come into a room to philosophize, don't leave it outside, but bring it in with you." Wittgenstein
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Sat Dec 24, 2005 9:44 am

The winning poem, well done Kris.
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