Two words from a private vocabulary

[David]

The barn was Dutch. How that might be was something
we never questioned, as though the adjective
had been subsumed into the noun, making
it literally a household word, one not
requiring parsing. Irreducible.

So when it stands defined as a roof,
supported on poles, over hay, etc.,
I can nod and say yes, that sounds right,
without considering Holland's sheer perspectives,
the land flattened by such a weight of sky,
the indentured water lying in every ditch -
except I find I do consider them.
The past is coming unstuck in my hands.

More fugitive is hackett. It holes up
in the secret attic in our heads,
opened only to those who knock correctly,
or ranges, like Hereward the Wake,
among the reeds of our unreported speech,
beyond the reach of lexicographers.

Dragged blinking into the light, it is unmasked
as merely a regional pronunciation
of haggard, chiefly Irish, a rickyard:
the close-stacked bales marinading in themselves
and, farther on, an abandoned charabanc,
seemingly ablaze with jinny nettles,
and chickens stalking calmly through green flames.

[Jackie]

I very much enjoyed this, David. So much fun to read, again and again.

Your personifying hackett (delightful!) is so different from your treatment of the Dutch barn that I'm not sure if they are one poem or two. The first two stanzas are a bit more conversational, with a voice you might hear in a family gathering. Did the two parts start out as one?

Jackie

[Macavity]

hi David,
I found myself drawn into the first two strophes. I liked the way the Dutch landscape was brought into play. Particularly the line the land flattened by such a weight of sky.

in the secret attic in our heads

I wasn't sure about that part.

all the best

mac

[Suzanne]

David,

What a beautiful poem!
I love the personal feel to it, it seemed as if i were a guest at a kitchen table... Warm and friendly.
Gosh, wonderful catch.

An American Midwestern gal, i am a sucker for a eye catching barn. And a lover of word, i think this is a gift to this reader!

Here are my favorite lines:

the land flattened by such a weight of sky,
the indentured water lying in every ditch -
except I find I do consider them.
The past is coming unstuck in my hands.


That makes me homesick, evokes big emotion in me. And i thank you for that.

Nice write, David.
Suzanne

[1lankest]

Yes super, David. Loved it.

Comments, for what it's worth...

The barn was Dutch. How that might be was something
we never questioned, as though the adjective
had been subsumed into the noun, making
it literally a household word, one not........not sure you need the last 2 lines - then seem off to me
requiring parsing. Irreducible.

So when it stands defined as a roof,
supported on poles, over hay, etc.,
I can nod and say yes, that sounds right,
without considering Holland's sheer perspectives,
the land flattened by such a weight of sky,
the indentured water lying in every ditch -
except I find I do consider them..........love this
The past is coming unstuck in my hands............what a super strophe, suddenly The Low Countries suddenly have a magnetic pull!

More fugitive is hackett. It holes up
in the secret attic in our heads,
opened only to those who knock correctly,........this line justifies the previous.....brilliant
or ranges, like Hereward the Wake,.........I get the contextual link here but not sure the reference is helpful
among the reeds of our unreported speech,
beyond the reach of lexicographers

Dragged blinking into the light, it is unmasked
as merely a regional pronunciation
of haggard, chiefly Irish, a rickyard:
the close-stacked bales marinading in themselves
and, farther on, an abandoned charabanc,
seemingly ablaze with jinny nettles,
and chickens stalking calmly through green flames.......good ending

Luke

[David]

Thanks all. Glad you enjoyed it.

Your personifying hackett (delightful!) is so different from your treatment of the Dutch barn that I'm not sure if they are one poem or two. The first two stanzas are a bit more conversational, with a voice you might hear in a family gathering. Did the two parts start out as one?

They didn't, Jackie, and there are not supposed to be two voices, just one, i.e. me wittering on as usual. Mining the old private seam again.

Cheers

David

[Jackie]

David, that sent me to look up witter, and I'm astonished—if I'd known about wittering, I would have understood where the word Twitter came from!

So I support all your efforts to make your private vocabulary public.

Jackie

[Antcliff]

Like others, I liked this in subject and tone. And three cheers for the appearance of H the Wake. Great...

or ranges, like Hereward the Wake,
among the reeds of our unreported speech,
beyond the reach of lexicographers.

I did wonder whether both are needed..

one not
requiring parsing. Irreducible.

Not sure. Just asking.

Seth

[OwenEdwards]

All-round excellent, especially "The past is coming unstuck in my hands" and the personification of hackett as (like unto) Hereward the Wake in his fens.

[David]

Thanks, Seth, Owen.

I did wonder whether both are needed..

one not
requiring parsing. Irreducible.

Not sure. Just asking.

I know. It's a bad habit of mine, the offering of alternatives.

Cheers both

David

[MikeAcker]

I enjoyed reading it.
My favorite line is: "the land flattened by such a weight of sky,"

Never thought that these "neder"(low lying, I think) lands, could have been caused by the weight of a sky. Great, new way to look at this geography.

[David]

Nederland indeed, Mike! Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.

Cheers

David