)Read it and let me know what you people think to it as an idea or a piece of work....As usual it's very rough around the edges and I'm sure I saw a few threads coming away in the middle somewhere...
I would appreciate some points about the language, and especially in relation to the subject material I tried to use/create and why please.... cheers
Upon the lands of distant dreams,
Within the veil of time.
Rests a tale of things long gone.
When the realms of men were made,
Throughout the scattered stars.
The magic of the universe
Was placed within our hearts.
We flew, we shaped,
We moved mountains with our minds.
We created a place with sun and filled with songs of joy,
A land where people lived, a place with mountains, fields and seas.
As the sun warmed the sky
And with it brought life
We gathered the clouds in the air.
The land we had made was paradise
Yet soon our numbers became too large
We sought out lands within our minds
And sent our thoughts afar
Whilst the way to travel there
Was buried in the stars.
Those distant lands were found and claimed
By whomever reached them first
Giant balls of mud and stone
Planets they were called
We used the magic within our hearts
To keep us safe from harm.
As we travelled through the cosmos
On a journey, long and far.
Many lights we saw stream by
Blinking as they passed.
We glimpsed whole galaxies evolving
were awed by a space so vast.
We found the place we would call home
We built our homes
We shaped our sky
called the land our own.
To bless the earth we lived upon
We granted the soil the gift of our hearts
cast our magic into everything
And with it created all our souls.
With our magic gone
Yet in everything around
We truly began to understand
The power of that bond
The breaking of the next days dawn
Brought with it a gift
A spectacle of beauty
It was our magic
Flowing with the land
With this wondrous thing before us
We felt our hearts being blessed
the days warm breeze
Lifted the mist into the air
We knew then
That the magic around us
Would always surround us
From then till the end of all time
From that moment on
We studied our home
Learned to use the magic that it held.
The lore of the plants
songs of the birds
Were some of the things that we learned
For they were our health and our guides.
We travelled the earth
Reading the sun like the birds
Listening to the wind
As it sang its sweet enchantment.
We built cities of stone
With magic of the land
Our knowledge we shared
Drawing endless maps of our roads.
We watched and were awed
By the beauty of life
Carrying a feeling of praise
We waited
Whilst life was being created through the world.
Our bond with the land, was seen each day
When the sun warmed the night from our hearts
We would gather our things
And start each day afresh
Collecting our food and our lore
We walked through the land
Watching it grow
Helping wherever we could
A long time passed our world
Before we discovered a creature
We would later call man
Standing before us
Its eyes lifted upwards
We heard what it had to say
‘Oh great golden beings
Oh gods of the land
Teach us the lore of the past’
We were touched by its plea
By the fact that it thought
We were the gods of the earth
'first we must know
Your true hearts intent
For we shall never create harm for the land
‘Well glorious beings
Leave me henceforth
allow me to show my true self
I will care for the land
And grow what I need
So that I survive so you may teach me’
‘We shall return in a year of our time
To see how you fare, if you still live
And hold the land dear
We will gladly teach you our craft
We will give you a name
For all to know you by
We will see you again
The creature ever known as hu-man
‘And man I shall be
From this day till then
I will study my land
And see in a year what I learn’
Onwards we travelled
Towards our cities of stone
Carrying the knowledge we had gathered
In the tomes of our minds
From the gates of our wondrous home
We called our people to attend us
The courtyard filled with eyes brightened by happiness
as we shared how the world had grown
When we spoke of the creature called Hu-man
A sigh filled with hope passed our lips
We explained its request
spoke of its test
Describing what we hoped we would find
“if the creature does pass
And chooses to learn
Who will help us guide it?”
“I” said a voice through the thrum of the crowd
“And I” from the balcony followed a shout
Soon our whole people had offered their aid
We began planning and watching the days.