Poetry Forum

untouchable
fingers reaching out to hold,
to feel the once soft flesh
now repulsed,
but still dreaming,
following the cracks and bruises,
across the temple.

half closed eyes,
one larger, one smaller,
hardly noticable,
but found ugly - the perfectionist

mouth slightly open,
muscles forgot,
seen as grotesque,
eyes shift from his,
trying to ignore,
the impossible

fingers reach out,
but turn away,
no velvety skin,
hated,
destested
rejected

this might need some re-doing. What makes the fingers untouchable, or the skin repulsed? How does skin dream? How do muscles forget? I do like this line, though: "following the cracks and bruises across the temple." I wonder if it could use a better context though? I am having trouble understanding the poem because of the lack of it.

- will

yes your rite, it does need some reworking, the fingers are not untouchablee, its the body, the person. the skin isn't dreaming, the owner of the fingers is dreaming of how things used to be, the owner of the fingers are repulsed, and muscels do seem to forget to keep a mouth closed, sometimes you see people with their mouths hanging open just becuase they have forgotten that it is open. i migt work on this one, i don't know