The Flash and The Sacrificial Fire
The whole ocean pursues you,
spreads its legs against the shore.
You sport to far water for fish, to swallow moons.
O you dolphins have hayfever, magnify moons.
The whole world is dissolute for you,
their horned heads they baptize in your sprinkling,
your speaking squeaks like doorways
of applause, O tattoos of you are ours.
Saturday the song pulled them from the balcony,
down to the lower seats. There the flock was blessing
itself in rings of arias as though held in an operatic
whirlpool. Falling the eye held the stage,
wrestling, raveling a golden thread.
Cold and wild ruins are exposed, and the star-mad
gazer stares naked at diamonds hoping that terror
forgets, departs, if he will become self-forgetful.
But beauty is in enduring things as well
and not only the unraveling of operatic gold.
Take plain wood, the gemstone flash it lacks,
but is proven built to burn by such worthy flames.
The Flash and The Sacrificial Fire
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Ros
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You lost me at
dolphins have hayfever
Sorry, this is making no sense at all. It seems to be a random collection of pseudo-profound phrasings.
Ros
dolphins have hayfever
Sorry, this is making no sense at all. It seems to be a random collection of pseudo-profound phrasings.
Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
___________________________
Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
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Antiphon - www.antiphon.org.uk
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stuartryder
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So, poetry, then?!Ros wrote:You lost me at
dolphins have hayfever
Sorry, this is making no sense at all. It seems to be a random collection of pseudo-profound phrasings.
Ros
I took it at face value and as you say, a collection of images some of which were strong, and I quite liked some of the inverted language. I do wonder if the author had something more cohesive in intent though.
I do think its worth pursuing. Title needs work. At the moment it sounds like the name of a heavy metal album!
Stuart
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Arian
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After the first 2 lines, which strike me as excellent, I carried on for a while, but had to give up, I'm afraid. To me, it reads like the result of one of those online 'poetry generators' which combines random phrases into a grammatically correct structure. Like stuart, I rather like some individual images, but as a whole, it lacks - for this reader - any kind of coherence or poetic value. Sorry.
Cheers
Peter
Cheers
Peter