Forensic Psychiatry

[ray miller]

Revision

Our Nurse Tutor, Mr Bunn, professed to think
that the reason we learnt to withhold our piss
was to stop predators tracing our scent
and hunting us to extinction. His introductory
trick was to inspect the hands of each new intake
to determine who’d performed manual labour -
illustrating what might be deduced
by observation. I was the only student
who’d lifted more than a pencil in anger,
and when he raised my hands like Exhibit A
it wasn’t clear if I were being lionised
or standing in the queue for free school dinners.

He was a staunch believer in bio-physical causes
for all forms of mental illness.
Medication and robust therapies might mitigate
the symptoms of an essential malaise,
but it was all down to genetics, you can’t shake off
the skin that you were born in. One day, in class,
I wondered aloud how the “schizophrenic gene” persisted
in light of social isolation, lack of motivation,
poor communicative skills, a general absence
of qualities one seeks out in a mate.
He raised his large, aquiline nose and sniffed
the air for danger, then addressed my fellow students
sotto voce, behind a hand, enquiring how would
our working class hero account for homosexuals?

Bad timing, I reflected, when we learnt
that Mr Bunn had been arrested
in a city centre Gentleman’s toilet
on several charges of gross indecency.
Three months later and he’d have reached
the safety of retirement; ten years earlier
a suitable candidate for treatment.


Original


Our Nurse Tutor, Mr Bunn, professed to think
that the reason we learnt to withhold our piss
was to stop predators tracing our scent
and hunting us to extinction. His introductory
trick was to inspect the hands of each new intake
to determine who’d performed manual labour:
illustrating what might be deduced
by casual observation. I was the only student
who’d lifted more than a pencil in anger,
and when he raised my hands like Exhibit A
it wasn’t clear if I were being lionised
or standing in the queue for free school dinners.

He was a staunch believer in bio-physical causes
for all forms of mental illness.
Medication and other robust therapies
might only mitigate the symptoms of an essential
malaise, but it was all down to genetics, you can’t shake off
the skin that you were born in. One day, in class,
I wondered aloud how the “schizophrenic gene” persisted
in light of social isolation and stigma, chaotic behaviour,
an inability to communicate effectively,
an absence of many qualities one seeks out in a mate.
He raised his large, aquiline nose and sniffed
the air for danger, then addressed my fellow students
sotto voce, behind a hand, enquiring how would
our working class hero account for homosexuals?

Bad timing, I reflected, when we learnt
that Mr Bunn had been arrested
in a city centre Gentleman’s toilet
on several charges of gross indecency.
Three months later and he’d have reached
the safety of retirement; ten years earlier
a suitable candidate for treatment.

[Macavity]

Enjoyed the read Ray. The piss reasoning made me smile as did the free school dinners comment.

Some suggestions:

Medication, or robust therapies,
would only mitigate the symptoms of an essential
malaise

all the best

mac

[SteveR]

Ray,
'You developed the character well and gave us a good closing. Fun read
Steve

[HenryBones]

Good stuff. Some of the lines are a little baggy I think. This, for example,

I wondered aloud how the “schizophrenic gene” persisted
in light of social isolation and stigma, chaotic behaviour,
an inability to communicate effectively,
an absence of many qualities one seeks out in a mate

might benefit from some re-lineation and tweaking. I also think that you might lose 'and hunt us to extinction' from the first stanza. The ending is great.

Thanks for the read

[AlanReynolds]

Thanks for this read. An interesting story (and title) engagingly told.

[ray miller]

Thanks all. I''ll make a few adjustments.

[Antcliff]

Vivid and telling stuff, Ray.

Not much to add except one thought. Do you really need this line which seems a bit "explainy" to me? Surely a reader would get there under their own steam?

on several charges of gross indecency.

Seth