LIV TYLER
If a man ought,
if a man should,
if a man must,
(I don't want to
bog myself down
in semantics but)
if a man must live,
a man must live
for Liv Tyler.
Ms Liv Tyler,
when you wear a t-shirt
with the caption "rock royalty"
you "misunderestimate"
yourself so much.
You are more
than a modern day
Elizabeth Taylor,
you are a goddess.
This mortal schlemiel
would like to worship
from the penetralia.
Hoping to make BOMBADIL and everyone smile....
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Ewan_McTeagle
- Posts: 41
- Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:35 am
- Location: Poland
Dear Ray. I think it's a good material for a good poem but seems overloaded with cliches such as the first stanza. That would be good for a song but it doesn't match the good idea behind this piece.
The second and last stanzas are great. I would advise you to take them as a determinant for the rest of the poem in the matter of word play and atmosphere.
The second and last stanzas are great. I would advise you to take them as a determinant for the rest of the poem in the matter of word play and atmosphere.
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Ray Trivedi
uh ha, what exactly made you have that 'yeuch' reaction?lemur wrote:I'm afraid it didn't make me smile, more cringe and then go sort of yeuch at the end.
Sorry.
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lemur
- Persistent Poster
- Posts: 138
- Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2005 12:40 pm
- Location: Edinburgh, traitor that I am
The very last line.
To me this reads more like prose arranged to look like a poem on the page. The language doesn't stand out and there isn't much imagery going on either; you just seem to be eulogising an actress. For me this is never going to be a subject which makes a great poem.
To me this reads more like prose arranged to look like a poem on the page. The language doesn't stand out and there isn't much imagery going on either; you just seem to be eulogising an actress. For me this is never going to be a subject which makes a great poem.