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My First Post, A Villanelle, be ye kind

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 6:49 pm
by Bombadil
Harvest Time

If there were a piece of human crop left to reap
deep within me, it is not for the Farmer to find
now that his scythe stripped me with its final sweep.

What was awake long ago was put to sleep
but I might still have some rusted axes to grind
if there were a piece of human crop left to reap.

I know, I bargained away my life for so cheap
and paltry a price—at the time I didn’t seem to mind…
now that his scythe stripped me with its final sweep,

it stings that much more. If only I could weep
for the lack of rain and I could rejoin mankind
if there were a piece of human crop left to reap.

For land, no rain comes; nor Shepherd for his sheep
and the coming wind will sweep away, leave me behind
now that his scythe stripped me with its final sweep.

My prize was golden, but now I have lost my keep
to my own avarice and to the dust I am to confined—
even if there were a piece of human crop left to reap
now that his scythe stripped me with its final sweep.

Posted: Mon Dec 06, 2004 7:27 pm
by desiderata
this makes me shiver. i like your repeating that phrase about "human crop", it's very haunting and brutal at the same time. hope you will post some more.

Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 11:12 am
by Arcadian
Hey !

At last another villanelle posted - so good to see you tackled this complex form - theme reminded me of works by baudelaire / poe and the novelist Stephem King ( who i find too horrific to read)

interesting interplay with imagery of grim reaper/farmer harvest cycle and the assessment of a life of dissipation that has led to naught/ dryness lack of crop and eternal sleep/death.

very sinsister and dark tones indeed for your first post

hope you post something less dark .. but then again this my preference

good first post - well done

Arco

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:18 pm
by GeeKay
Deliciously dark in my opinion. It's certainly one of those poems that you enjoy reading over and over and get something new out of it each time.

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 11:03 pm
by Bombadil
Thanks, Gee. I'll take delicious any day, no matter how dark...