Murder

This is a serious poetry forum not a "love-in". Post here for more detailed, constructive criticism.
Post Reply
User avatar
Firebird
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3109
Joined: Tue May 21, 2013 9:46 pm

Sun Jan 07, 2018 7:22 pm

V2

A single bullet
is always heard
more clearly.

V1

A single bullet
will always be heard
more clearly.
David Smedley
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 643
Joined: Tue Dec 11, 2012 5:16 pm

Sun Jan 07, 2018 11:18 pm

Size seven shoes
on size nine
feet
User avatar
Firebird
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3109
Joined: Tue May 21, 2013 9:46 pm

Mon Jan 08, 2018 8:58 am

Nice reply David.

Cheers,

Tristan
Antcliff
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6599
Joined: Thu Nov 24, 2011 1:35 am
Location: At the end of stanza 3

Fri Jan 12, 2018 11:01 pm

I liked it. Engaging analogy...for a few things.

Seth
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
User avatar
Firebird
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3109
Joined: Tue May 21, 2013 9:46 pm

Sat Jan 13, 2018 8:40 am

Nice one FT.

Pleased you liked it Seth.

Cheers both,

Tristan
Post Reply