Poetry Forum

As children, we quested for adventure
Under cool beach pebbles, within the crab's sanctuaries,
In the patient arms of indulgent trees, pressed between flowers in fields
That hadn't yet been sold off to the blissfully ignorant,
Those who grasped the key of life at birth, and furiously polished it
In the hope of attracting a high bid, regardless of it's simple beauty

We didn't find a mystery, or a legend,
Only rumours of seductive promises
Made after the latest war to end them all,
Careless talk of equality, made manifest in our houses
Of sticks and stones - no home for heroes there,
So here we are, all together, bound to the rock that they rent to us

This much better - the first three lines were excellent. The creeping in of capitalism, took a bit of the shine off when I first read it, but it leads into the cynicism of the last verse, which I can appreciate.

'So here we all are, all together, bound to the rock that they rent us.'

nice one

Thanks for the feedback, Barrie, much appreciated