I never shall remind myself
Of all the bad, and all the sad.
Shall kindness my direct to good
And make it through.And understood
Shall be my way in every step I make.
And pray, will help me to restore
Of ashes memories and more...
I promise this to be from now,
So I just live, no matter how.
A Promise
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Ray Trivedi
Yevgeniya, the writing needs to be akin to how we use modern English.
It would help if you looked at the word order, e.g., subject-verb-object order would be like 'cows eat grass' and subject-object-verb order would be like 'cows grass eat'.
Hope this helps.
It would help if you looked at the word order, e.g., subject-verb-object order would be like 'cows eat grass' and subject-object-verb order would be like 'cows grass eat'.
Hope this helps.
Last edited by Ray Trivedi on Mon Feb 06, 2006 6:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Cheers Ray.
That is exuclty sort of feedback I expect from native English speakers. Attempting poems in English is a challange for me, so I appreciate u pointing this out.
Thank you
That is exuclty sort of feedback I expect from native English speakers. Attempting poems in English is a challange for me, so I appreciate u pointing this out.
Thank you
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Bombadil
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Yevgeniya,
To properly challenge yourself then, I'd urge you not to shorten your words into text formats. Example: U instead of You. If you want to learn, don't take shortcuts.
Cheers,
Bombadil
To properly challenge yourself then, I'd urge you not to shorten your words into text formats. Example: U instead of You. If you want to learn, don't take shortcuts.
Cheers,
Bombadil
That's a valuable comment, Bombadil.
Yet, shortcuts only make typing more convenient. I don't use them in my poems. Only to comment on others' work, and I'm sure this doesn't confuse them, or does it?
Yet, shortcuts only make typing more convenient. I don't use them in my poems. Only to comment on others' work, and I'm sure this doesn't confuse them, or does it?
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Ray Trivedi
Yevgeniya, you are welcome.
Whatever made you think am native? Am actually an alien from a distant star system that can only be approximated as "Ooaol". Seriously.
Whatever made you think am native? Am actually an alien from a distant star system that can only be approximated as "Ooaol". Seriously.
English sarcasm does it for u
is this a line from "X-files"? This planet, u do dound like an alien
u do dound like an alien Why, cuz of ur accent?
Or you lisper too?
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Ray Trivedi
My real accent is from the northern quadrant of the star system i come from. Lisping, on the other hand, is a human.
ok Ray. I see you r truly uniquetake Aspirin, it helps
Not so kind after all
Well done, Yevgeniya
It must be hard writing good poetry in a foreign language. I have a French friend who writes in English, and although the results are good, it takes her a long time to translate & ensure that the poem is decent in both English AND French.
So I salute your efforts
It must be hard writing good poetry in a foreign language. I have a French friend who writes in English, and although the results are good, it takes her a long time to translate & ensure that the poem is decent in both English AND French.
So I salute your efforts
Thank you very much, Steve. I am trully flattered. I have to go through exactly the same stages as your friend, while ensuring a pleasant read along with correct grammar for the readers. Cheers
Last edited by Yevgeniya on Mon Feb 06, 2006 8:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Only to prove me right once again, Bombadil.
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Bombadil
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What's funny is, that since you're new, you have absolutely no idea how kind and gentle I'm trying to be. Still, I'm very comfortable with my role as forum grump, or asshole if you prefer. At the moment, I couldn't give two shits what you think or do, especially if you're the sort that won't even dignify a courteous request. Add emphasis to the fact that you're new. I think you'd stand to learn a lot more from the good folks here if you'll only learn to be just a touch more obliging. Ah, and if you don't believe me about 1. my current kinder tone and 2. your less than obliging manners, just keep doing what you're doing. The moderators really dig that.
Cheers,
Bombadil
Cheers,
Bombadil