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Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 5:50 pm
by Saul
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Dance
Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 6:28 pm
by ccvulture
'She summons me a fixation'
Pretty good, that.
Definitely feels like a private rehearsal in a public place.
Stu
Re: Dancer in Afternoon Rehearsal
Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 6:49 pm
by Ray Trivedi
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 2:02 pm
by lemur
Your last line, Saul, really appealed to me - I like lines that mess about with verbs and nouns. It may not make grammatical sense but I get the sense from the rest of the poem.
Also liked 'she angles a geometry'.. .the quiet poise of the dancer I think comes across really well. I think Ray's arrangement works too, but if you were going to use that I'd change the last line, to give it more of a kick.
Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 2:11 pm
by Saul
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Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 2:21 pm
by Ray Trivedi
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