Let There Be Light

[MikeMac]

Like oil to a flame
Her ink spilled the page
Little fires in her name
Each a war she waged
‘Gainst the umbral reign
Of an omnipotent sage
Whose canon the blame
For a benighted age

[Sid]

Hi Mike,

I would like to see you expand this to a longer piece to challenge yourself bring multiple images together.

There’s a lot more that could be explored here.

As it stands it is a tad shy of developing the full image and message you intend.

[MikeMac]

Hi Sid,

Thanks for your feedback. I agree. I’m just trying to figure out if I want to abandon the AB rhyme scheme in order to expand the poem.

[lotus]

dear MikeMac

i enjoyed the sound of Umbral

so i searched a bit and i like the how the two variations fit in


Umbral Symbol
: a symbol indicating substitution in turn of each of n given values followed by addition of the results obtained
<the umbral symbol a in the expression xaya which stands for x1y1+x2y2+ … +xⁿyn>

~~~
Umbra
relating to an umbra : shaded, darkened