Masquerade

[TrevorConway]

Few things fascinate a child
more than brazen pretence,
and when we disregard the truth,
slurping absent tea
or declaring a reddened thumb a nose,
the laws they’ve learned have failed.

Somehow, we’re preparing them
to hone the art of mistrust,
teaching them deceptive truths;
or maybe jaded parents need
a court of make-believe
to be children, for a while, themselves.


Hi, all. Is the theme pretty clear? Is the poem/theme underdeveloped? And is the ending too sudden? Thanks

[Macavity]

Very nice Trevor, relatable. Would Jesters be a more fun title?

'Somehow'...so this is a thought-out education exercise? If that is an 'excuse', would 'Perhaps' be a lighter option or admission of 'self-deception'?

'deceptive' - 'knavish' for a court leitmotif?

best

mac

[ray miller]

A few thoughts - not keen on absent tea, invisible tea or empty cups? collapse rather than have failed?
Perhaps "We say that we're preparing them..."
I like the ending, best part

[TrevorConway]

Thanks very much for the feedback, Mac and Ray. Very helpful. I think this probably needs to be developed, as well as touching up what's here.

T