Poetry Forum

Russian Dolls


You loved all things concentric;
Russian dolls and tree ringed trunks,
labyrinths and ripples.
But Russian dolls the most, I think,
exiles in parentheses.

I remember them all as fat red squaws,
a tribe in single file.
How your hands could conjugate
their perfect painted smiles!
It was not the red

of flags and revolutions.
It was the red of hoods
and girls in woods,
it was the muck and squat of lineage.
I could point us both out in that line-up.

You’d be the penultimate;
your swollen belly would belie
the truth of your skittle status
as the endless ring of roses
formed an armour on your apron.

I’d be the last one,
the lady-in-waiting,
bridesmaid to a thimble.
Nesting nothing, as if in protest.
Shake me and I’d cite

my right to marry echoes.

Lemur,

This is brilliant. Love it. I haven't consulted the others but it's got to be the next 'Featured Poem'.

Have you had any poetry published? I'm sure you must have done.

Great lines:

"it was the muck and squat of lineage. "

"bridesmaid to a thimble."

"my right to marry echoes."

Cheers
Cam

Hi Cameron,

Thanks very much, glad you liked it:) My mother was also a Russian teacher for a while, when she was pregnant with me, and I kind of had that in mind. I was thinking of bloodlines and Red Riding Hood, and the war of the roses. Also the phrase 'left on the shelf'...hmm.

I had stuff published about 10 years ago, when I was in my late teens, but then didn't write anything virtually for years, going through uni. Am just starting to submit things again in the last few months.

Cheers,

Julie

/

Feature it. I'm glad to be outdone by this one. My unofficial vote, of course.


Back to the drawing board.

Me too Julie- I enjoyed reading this. It really held me all the way through. Like, you know how often in a poem, some lines are weaker than others, like fillers between the good stuff? I didn't find that at all with this poem.

Rachel

bridesmaid to a thimble

That's got to be unique! Enjoyed your poem, expanded and progressed holding my attention.

cheers

mac

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No suggestions. Yes Cam, feature it.

Thanks for the comments. Ray, do you call them babooshka dolls? I've never heard that term - we had some in the house when I was young but they were always just called Russian Dolls. Kind of sinister looking things.

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Certainly a worthy feature.
They do all rattle when inside the 'biggest' mother. Red and roses, the ultimate poetic cliche, is refreshingly re-instated on wood. On an old doll...really nice Lemur.

One gripe. Last line would seem more in 'lineage' if read 'my right to bear echoes'.

Minstrel.

I second all that - another fine effort lemur

very good use of assonance and alliteration with choice rhymes that dont bang on the ears.

Arco

Bumped up to top spot. Congrats.