Poetry Forum

In the photo are two half-naked frat boys, drinks in hand,
kissing with tongues, having been dared by their mates
in that special environment that men make.

The picture thrills me. A bit of romance, disguised
as prank, peeks through where it shouldn’t be, peeks out
through the brother love that we know they share.
Boundaries break.

Maybe, when the drunken haze lifts, memories will remain
of the time they stepped out of their common roles to try
something new, something that left them unscathed,
or slightly improved.

Maybe one of them is already gay — or maybe not.
Perhaps, remembering that kiss, one of them becomes gay
— or maybe not. You see, despite what the Bible-thumpers say,
I’m not trying to bait anyone.

I just hope that, having kissed a bro, when they find out
what I am, they will think “I tried that once and it was fun”
and not find any reason to hate.

~end~

I can post the picture if anyone wants to see, though it is a little racy.

hi Perry

I think the poem expresses the crossing of boundaries very well.

mac

Thank you, Mac.

I am glad that you can appreciate the poem even though you're not gay.

You never say a lot in your critiques. Don't be afraid to criticize if there is something you don't like.

hi Perry,

The interest in the poem for me are the boys' kissing 'bravado' and the poet's interpretation of that. The Bible-thumpers detracts from the reflection, a more angry mode, but I understand why.

An option, to accentuate the positive:

Maybe one of them is already gay — or maybe not.
Perhaps, remembering that kiss, one of them becomes gay
— I just hope that, having kissed a bro, when they find out
what I am, they will think “I tried that once and it was fun.”

best

mac

Thanks for the suggestion, Mac. I'll think about it.

In all the years that people have suggested I cut out lines in a poem, I did it only once.

In the photo are two half-naked frat boys, drinks in hand,
kissing with tongues, having been dared by their mates
in that special environment that men make.

The picture thrills me. A bit of romance, disguised
as prank, peeks through where it shouldn’t be, peeks out
through the brother love that we know they share.
Boundaries break.

Maybe, when the drunken haze lifts, memories will remain
of the time they stepped out of their common roles to try
something new, something that left them unscathed,
or slightly improved.

Maybe one of them is already gay — or maybe not.
Perhaps, remembering that kiss, one of them becomes gay
— or maybe not. You see, despite what the Bible-thumpers say,
I’m not trying to bait anyone.

I just hope that, having kissed a bro, when they find out
what I am, they will think “I tried that once and it was fun”
and not find any reason to hate.

*****************************

I underlined some words/phrases that I think could be deleted. The last underline (trying to bait), might just be "I'm not baiting anyone". I'd also replace "Bible-thumpers" since Christianity is hardly alone in its persecutions.

I don't need to see the picture because your poem expresses it so well. You've definitely pierced a veil, so to speak, and it's a very moving poem. The occaisonal rhymes are also effective. A few more wouldn't hurt.

Pomes (I'm not sure how to shorten your name), thank you for your suggestions. I wasn't on the site for a couple days, which is why I didn't respond sooner.

I'm definitely going to delete "that" in the second stanza, but I'm not sure of the others. I'll have to think about them.

I thought that this was going to be a poem that no one would be able to relate to, and that some people might not even understand, but it has gotten a good reception on the two forums I have posted it on.

Thanks again.

Perry - We live in a world of relaxed limitations. where what was taboo just yesterday seems to have evolved to an accepted "not taboo" today. Enjoyed your work. It makes one think. Namyh

Namyh, thanks so much. I appreciate your comment.

PPE, I've decided to take your suggestion to replace "are" in the first line with a comma.