For twenty-five years their love had survived
those long evenings that he worked night shifts,
while she taught French to secondary school kids.
Inhabiting these separate lives
each dreamt of weekends and rehearsed
the slow undress, the hungry search.
Saturday mornings they would lie in bed
exchanging fancies that had crossed their minds;
without children they possessed plenty time
to contemplate the sauce that lay ahead –
and a pleasure that is relished
is a feast more dearly cherished.
Weekend afternoons were spent simmering
with much savouring and licking of lips,
playfully spooning and fingering dips
before she could carry the dinner in
to the candlelit table mats
and their culinary climax.
There grew a desire to experiment
and they devoted all their energies
to unearthing exotic recipes;
two bulging bellies showed the evidence:
in their eagerness to tuck in
they had grown too fat for fucking.
Sauce
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- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 7402
- Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:23 am
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
Hi Ray,
There's a moral to that tale!
I like this, I think it's well told as a narrative and I enjoy the music of the intermittent rhyme, leading us to that final payoff couplet. The couple are well realized, and your play between food and sex is well effected.
Might you like "of" in "plenty time"?
Cheers,
John
There's a moral to that tale!
I like this, I think it's well told as a narrative and I enjoy the music of the intermittent rhyme, leading us to that final payoff couplet. The couple are well realized, and your play between food and sex is well effected.
Might you like "of" in "plenty time"?
Cheers,
John
Now that is a closing end rhyme! Some highlights for me... rehearsed/the slow undress ...culinary climax. Liked the title too. I guess the lesson is seize the moment and careful what you eat for body bliss!
So much foreplay wastedlicking of lips,
playfully spooning and fingering dips
Hello Ray, that made me laugh out loud. As I was reading, I was wondering where it was going. Really enjoy all the cooking references. Like John, I spotted the missing 'of'. Would you consider 'so' at the start of this line,
"and they devoted all their energies"
?
Engaging and lots of fun.
Lia
"and they devoted all their energies"
?
Engaging and lots of fun.
Lia
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- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 7402
- Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2008 10:23 am
Thanks all. "So" would be better, Lia, ta. I think "plenty time" is ok without "of".
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
I contemplate such bitter stuff.