Stickies

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ray miller
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Fri Sep 16, 2022 2:16 pm

Them you remember, like Walter Wakeman,
whose unrepentant Birmingham accent
so disappointed Mr Jackson,
who made us gjggle in French and Latin;
half British and half Jamaican, the ninth
of fourteen children, who started shaving
at age eleven; famous for mimicking
Mr Fidgeon, each nostril subjected
to deep excavation, before flicking
the findings at front row brethren.

Walter Wakeman, once thoroughly shaken
during History for inattention,
for giving the answer to “what is man-made?”
as paleolithic, not manufactured.
Who took to entering Drama classes
in John Cleese Monty Python fashion,
who questioned the Divinity of Christ
and recited salacious poems in German,
who studied the Physics of Lorna Payne
and wandered out of a Geography lesson
never to be seen in school again.

There were rumours of poor family dynamics,
a sister pregnant, a crazy parent;
some said he went to an arty college,
others averred he’d joined the Armed Forces.
Later the subject of unconfirmed sightings-
sweeping the streets or delivering letters,
serving a sentence at Winson Green prison.
I think I saw him in '77,
stopping the traffic outside New Street station
by doing his Dying Fly impression.
Hard to tell if he noticed my presence
or his waving on back was part of performance
before the busies began to swat.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
Magpie Jane
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Fri Sep 16, 2022 11:33 pm

Ray, this is utterly lovely. I do believe we all have our collections of stickies that occasionally haunt our internal (infernal?) "upstairs-cinemas".
And how, O how I'd love to hear salacious poems in German being recited in an unrepentant Birmingham accent!
I have no eddycasional suggestions. I had a good giggle instead. Thanks abundantly.

Jane
Everything looks better by candlelight.
Everything sounds more plausible on the shortwave.
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camus
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Sat Sep 17, 2022 12:04 am

A fine ode indeed.

Colloquial title cleared up in the first line. Well played.

Flows well, some great internal rhyming and enjambment used wisely.

In all, a fine poem.
I think I saw him in '77,
Really, did you? Doesn't sit well with me.

Nice polemical work, doing what you do best.

Cheers
Kris
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Jim
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Sat Sep 17, 2022 1:21 am

An enjoyable poem, Ray, vigorous and colloquial. The only suggestion I have is to add 'the' or 'his' before performance in the penultimate line.

Jim
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Sat Sep 17, 2022 11:34 am

.
Hi ray,
enjoyed the read but the ending seems somewhat flat. It's a long was to go for an 'I think I saw'.
Shouldn't 'brethren' in S1 be quoted, it's his word, not N's? (Also 'palaeolithic'?)

Regards, Not

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ray miller
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Sun Sep 18, 2022 10:01 am

Thanks all.
Kris, are you thinking that the Dying Fly wasn't a thing in '77?
Not - we do not travel merely to arrive. Why do you think brethren wouldn't be N's word. Paleolithic/Palaeoloithic, both ok.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
NotQuiteSure
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Sun Sep 18, 2022 11:02 am

Hi ray.

Not - we do not travel merely to arrive.
True, but it seems to give the lie to the title. Hardly sticking if there's an if?

Why do you think brethren wouldn't be N's word.
'Half British half Jamaican' seems to apply only to Walter, one of his memorable features, which if N shared them would make them less memorable (it seems to me). And 'brethren' seems particularly Jamaican, so N is quoting Walter.

Paleolithic/Palaeoloithic, both ok.
Yes, but isn't he saying these? Or was it a written test? (Though the joke wouldn't work there.)
If the former I'm wondering if the question he's mishearing is 'of what is man made' ? Who hears the hyphen after all? (Course it wouldn't be a history class then.)
Also, not really seeing the shaken (as in discombobulated, rather than being manhandled by the teacher. If it's the latter, perhaps

Walter Wakeman, once thoroughly shaken
during History for inattention,
gave, as the answer to the question,
“what is man-made?” as "paleolithic",
not 'manufactured'. )


Regards, Not


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ray miller
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Tue Sep 20, 2022 8:37 am

Thanks, Not. People are thinking they saw the queen in cloud formations, double rainbows and whatnot. They will do so for years to come, I imagine. That's a measure of her stickability.
Brethren is there just for the sound of it.
I'm not quite sure what you're seeing in paleolithic that isn't meant to be there. It's just an actual example of Wakeman's wandering mind.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.
NotQuiteSure
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Tue Sep 20, 2022 11:31 am

.
Hi ray,
paleolithic - I just meant that I thought it was reported speech and should be marked as such.

S3/L8 - Perhaps 'I'm sure' or 'I swear' for 'I think' (which seems a bit too limp given the just established 'unconfirmed'.)

Regards, Not

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