Parallel Lives

[MilesTRanter]

Hope’s dog named Desi, a mutt with floppy ears,
rolls over for a belly rub, head pressed
against the fellow’s lap. But why the tears
streaming down his mistress’ face? Her guest
studies her, bemused. Desi deserts
the couch. Something inside Hope’s psyche hurts.

Overturned for a belly rub, head pressed
against his lap, the pooch was sure his fellow
had passed her test. Yet why’s his girl distressed?
“Hold me!” she says, her voice like a warbling cello.
He wraps her in his arms and strokes her hair
and, for this timeless moment, they’re a pair.

She’s pressed against his chest. But why the tears?
Nothing’s black and white as Desi’s coat.
All too soon the moment disappears
like the echo of a final chord that’ll float
and hang in the cavern of a concert hall—
a moment he’ll eternally recall.

Tears streaming down the woman’s face, her guest
tried guessing what was up, but didn’t query.
Holding hands, she suddenly undressed
her feelings: that she’s terrified, as wary
of being with him as a butterfly
is of a wasp that swoops down from the sky.

He studies her, bemused. No sweet desserts
will come their way tonight. He’s shy and meek
while she is extraverted. He averts
his eyes as she advises him to seek
a fellow artist. “We’ve a deep connection,”
she says, “but I shan’t give you my affection.”

They’re off the sofa now. Hope’s psyche hurts.
This man evokes the path she could have taken,
a parallel life she never had. She flirts
with regret. She won’t feel amorous. He’s shaken.
He wants to tell her, “An artist’s life is hard!”
but leaves as Desi frolics in the yard.

[jisbell00]

Hi Martin,

I think this tells its tale effectively - the tale reminds me a bit of TS Eliot in the telling, with its tangents brought into focus over the course of the poem. I had assumed parallel lives would show us the lives of Hope and Desi in parallel - now that would be a different poem!

Update: how odd! I've just read your comment on Caleb's latest poem and seen your mention of Prufrock! Synchronicity.
Cheers,
John

[MilesTRanter]

Hi John,

Many thanks for commenting. I'm glad to hear the story came across well!
Regarding T. S. Eliot — yes, that's a remarkable coincidence.

[CalebPerry]

The poem is hard to figure out. I finally did, by reading very slowly. So many personalities -- a dog named Desi, a woman named Hope, a man without a name -- each one wanting something different. The evolution that this moment goes through is also complicated. I've never seen the mood change so quickly in a poem before. The feeling I have is that you've got two or three poems in here, and you need to separate them.

Life would be easier for Hope if the nameless man was the one who wanted a belly rub.

[MilesTRanter]

Thanks, Caleb. Yes, the narrative is a bit complicated, but I'm glad you finally figured it out. I'm sure the man would have loved a tummy rub! Maybe even more than the dog. As far getting 3 poems out of this one, I'm not sure how I would go about doing that. By the way, I was trying out a new form I recently came across. It's rather involved. Here it is:

a B1 A1 B2 C1 C2
B1 d b d e e
A1 f a f g g
B2 h b h i i
C1 j c j k k
C2 l c l m m

The capital letters indicate that those lines in Stanza 1 are repeated (with some variation) as Line 1 of each of the subsequent stanzas. The form of each stanza is a quatrain (abab) followed by a couplet (cc). The form is called a Trenta-Sei, which was invented by John Ciardi.

[CalebPerry]

Just so you know, I've never written in any form. I've done sonnets accidently, but that's all.

[jisbell00]

Caleb, I believe you have an important event on the 22nd and wish you well with it.

Cheers,
John

[CalebPerry]

Thanks, John. Cataract surgery. I can barely see out of my right eye.

[MilesTRanter]

HI Caleb. I, too, wish you well. I'm sure it will be fine, and then you'll be able to see way better!

[Macavity]

Hi Martin,
As usual, applause for the elegance of craft, though the sense of detachment you translate so well that I feel disconnected from any empathy. The repetition of 'bemused' rather defines the distancing. Does a butterfly have a wariness of a wasp in nature? I don't see the relationship analogy existing in nature. Of course, human behaviour is another matter. The simplicity of a dog happiness, the relationship with pets, I do get. The name 'Hope' defaulted to the abstract in my mind. Perhaps I fail to connect to the satire.

Hope that helps some

Phil