Poetry Forum

Lost and Found

God is pleased to be mocked,
something not well understood,
for his greatest joy is in reunions,
those homecomings when his
rebellious sheep wander back
from their reckless ventures,
bleating about splendid lands,
of better meals to be had,
and making audacious demands,
but also remembering who
they are, from where they sprang,
anxious to taste once more
their Homeland. God listens
and loves, gives them a nudge,
and they wander off again.

☙

I'm not sure I've got the best name for this poem. Also, Jesus is usually thought of as the "good shepherd". I am putting God in that role in this poem -- but using that cliche may also make the poem seem unoriginal.

I'm glad they wander again. I feel it is human to wander.

Thank you, Phil. Besides that, does the poem work for you?

I have to confess, I'm not that interested in God Caleb.

Well, you're intelligent enough to be able to evaluate a poem on a subject that doesn't interest you. But you shouldn't say more unless you want to.

I like the tone of the poem.

Thank you, Phil. That was lukewarm, but I'll take it.

I'm surprised John isn't saying something. He's the Godman.

Hi Caleb,

Yes, I like this poem of yours. It chugs along rather peacefully, telling its tale, all unrolling from that happy opening line.

You've got about becoming of in your clauses, you might want to stick to one preposition.

I like the title Homecoming better than Lost and Found, which is too directly a quote, it seems to me - Amazing Grace.

Cheers,
John

Thanks for looking in, John. I thought this poem would be up your alley since God is in it.

"You've got 'about' becoming 'of' in your clauses, you might want to stick to one preposition."

Originally I had this:

bleating about splendid lands,
about better meals to be had,

... but then I remembered that people don't like to see words repeated, so I substituted "of" for the second "about". Is that against some rule or grammar? There is some rule regarding parallelism, but I figured it doesn't apply to poets.

Someone on the other forum I participate in felt that "Homecoming" was too redundant with words used in the poem.

Thanks again.

Technically you wouldn't change the prepostion since the same preposition governs the whole series of cluases. You'd either leave it implicit or keep the same one. Repeating about doesn't bother me, nor does Homecoming. Now Nostos is Homecoming in Greek (like Odysseus), if you want ot get fancy.

Cheers,
John

So "nostos" means "homecoming" in Greek? I know that some of the books of the Bible are written in Greek, but using a Greek word seems odd. However, naming the poem "Nostos" will certainly make me look more erudite than I am.

Google Translate isn't giving me "homecoming" for nostos. It's giving me nothing.

The Nostoi are the stories of the homecomings from the Trojan War: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nostoi

Homecoming is just fine, I think.

Cheers,
John

Thank you, John! And thank you again for looking at this!